Too Late for Kate?
by Swordwriter
Summary: Kate Beckett realizes what she really wants, but will she be too late to get it? And what's with the Castle that we thought we knew?
1. Chapter 1

**TOO LATE FOR KATE?**

_**Disclaimer: **__Castle belongs to ABC and Andrew Marlowe, and I am only borrowing them and will return them safe and sound as soon as I am done. Granted, in my world, they would get to where they're going a lot faster than they are. I make no money from this and am doing it for entertainment purposes._

_**Author's note: **__I thought it would be interesting to see a Castle whose background is very different from the writer we see. That's where the story idea began. Thanks to Galxychld for help with the editing process. It's useful to have another Fanfic author on hand. _

**Chapter 1**

Agent Kate Beckett was feeling all pumped up. She'd spent three months in Washington DC and had been instrumental in solving a major drug smuggling case working with the Attorney General's office, and had been invited to a party by Special Agent Stack. Nothing improper had happened, but she'd missed the evening flight to New York. The one she'd asked Rick Castle to meet.

She felt a little guilty about not answering his calls the first week, but she was so hot to solve the case she ignored them. After the first week, he'd stopped calling. She wasn't really worried. After five years of his following her around it was a sure thing. He'd even asked her to marry him.

She hadn't answered him yet. Just as the 757 touched the runway she fluffed her hair and applied fresh lipstick. She exited the aircraft and put her long legs to good use.

After passing through customs she retrieved her bags and looked for her friends. She quickly spotted Lanie and her dad, but no sign of Richard Castle or anyone else.

"Lanie, where is everybody?"

Lanie looked angry as she answered. "I don't know, Agent Beckett. We haven't heard from Castle in over a month."

Kate's head pulled back at the venom in Lanie's voice, as well as how disturbing it was to hear her say Agent instead of her name. But another part of her was instantly worried. She knew how impulsive Castle could be.

"Where are the guys, my team?"

"They're not your team anymore. You abandoned them, just like you abandoned Castle, just like you abandoned me. I don't understand you, Kate, Castle risked his life for you and you dump him. I see why pride is one of the seven deadly sins."

Kate's face paled. This was Lanie, her best friend. She wasn't on her side.

She immediately pulled out her phone and called Castle's number. After seven long rings the answering machine came on. "You have reached the phone of Richard Castle. Mr. Castle is not available at this time. Leave a message." Kate shivered. It was Castle's voice, but again it wasn't what she was used to. It was flat, almost monotone.

Jim Beckett and Lanie could hear the fear in Kate's voice as she said, "Dad, take me to the loft. Something's very wrong. This isn't like Castle."

They quickly drove to Castle's loft. Kate let them in with her key. The loft was cold and dark with an unused air about it. Kate turned on the lights and went into the kitchen. Castle's usually well stocked refrigerator was empty except for some ice cream in the freezer.

"Lanie, check the garage!" She went into his study and booted up his computer, hoping that there was a message left for her. There was nothing. She hit recent searches. A series of articles came up under arms smuggling in the Southwest.

She suddenly remembered that before he became a full time novelist, Castle had been an investigative reporter with two Pulitzer Prizes to his credit. Almost in a panic, she ran into his bedroom and looked into his closet. All his high end suits and sports clothes were there but several pairs of dark jeans and shirts were gone, as was his black leather jacket.

She checked his safe. Gone were his laptop and his digital SLR.

Lanie came back into the loft. "His Ferrari's there but the F-150 is gone!"

Two years ago, Castle got bitten by the off road bug. Surprising everyone, he hadn't purchased the most expensive luxury SUV he could find, but a top of the line Ford F-150 4X4 pick-up.

It had a turbo-charged V-8 engine and every bell and whistle Ford could put on it, but again, surprising everyone, it wasn't wearing a flashy paint job but was plain white with a tan interior.

Now she really was in a panic. Not only had Castle taken off on his own, he hadn't left an easy way to trace him. She knew that he'd learned enough about police work to cover his tracks if he wanted to.

She had another chilling thought. A few months ago, she'd been teasing Castle about his lousy marksmanship. He'd said, "Maybe I'll do something about that. There's this place out in Arizona called Combat INC. They offer a week long combat pistol course. I just might take it."

Kate sat down on a sofa._ "Oh God Rick, what have you done, where have you gone? I love you, I need you. What have I done? Why did I make you wait for my answer?"_

Now the tears came for real. If he'd done what she thought he'd done, the men he was investigating were totally ruthless, totally merciless. He could be killed and buried out in the desert and no one would ever know for sure, what had happened to him.

Lanie came over and sat down beside her. "What's wrong, girl?"

Brokenly, Kate said, "It's Rick. He's just gone. No note, no call, no message, just gone and I don't know why."

Lanie rolled her eyes and said, "That's bull, Kate. You do know why. What did you expect that he'd be your plaything forever? That man loves you, or maybe at this point, loved you, but for five years you jacked him around.

"You only told him that you loved him when you thought you were going to die, and even after he risked his life to save yours, you put your pride and ambition ahead of your man. He may not be your man any longer. You can only hurt someone so many times and they decide not to be hurt anymore. You've hurt that man a lot. He's a good man, even an amazing man, and doesn't deserve what you did to him."

Kate looked at her friend, tears streaming. "I thought you were here to comfort me."

Lanie shook her head. "Normally I would be, but this time you don't deserve comfort. You need someone to make you see how cruel and selfish you have been. Is glory more important to you than Rick? Is a career more important than a life? Is his life just not worth it to you?"

Now Kate got mad. "Lanie, that's a cheap shot! I love Rick!"

"Do you? Think of how it looks to Rick. You're in DC, and you don't return his calls. He could find out all about how well you do your job up there, _but not from you_. Feeling abandoned makes a person do some crazy things."

Kate stood up and went into the bathroom to wash her face and repair her make-up.

When she came back out, she said, "Lanie, somehow I'm going to find him. I'm going to make him see that I do love him and that I want him, for as long as he'll have me!"

Lanie gave her a quizzical look. "How are you going to do that? The man is smart. He won't use his credit cards and he always has plenty of cash. You can't put an APB out on him because he hasn't broken any laws. You don't even know where he's going."

"I saw some articles on his computer about the Southwest," Kate said as she ran a hand through her hair.

"The Southwest is a big hunk of country, girl, where are you going to start?" Lanie asked.

Kate started pacing as she bit her lip. Suddenly she stopped. "Combat INC., that's where I'll start!"

"What's that?" Lanie asked.

"It's a private weapons training school in Arizona. Rick said he was thinking about going there!" She turned and ran to her father.

"Dad, come on we're going to the precinct. Lanie, we'll drop you at my apartment. Please pack a bag for me? I'm going after my man!" Once the decision was made Kate sprang into action and small smile on Lanie's face further convincing her that this was the right thing to do.

At the precinct Kate ran into Esposito, first thing. He looked at her with contempt. "What are you doing here, _Agent Beckett, _coming to visit the peasants?"

Kate was shocked. She'd never seen Esposito like this, at least not towards her. His eyes narrowed an almost hateful look on his face. "What do you want, _Agent_?"

Kate tried to compose herself. "You know about Rick and I. Just before I left for Washington he asked me to marry him. I wouldn't answer him. He's gone. No note, no call nothing. He used to be an investigative reporter. I think he's into something very dangerous. He may be carrying a gun. He's never done that before."

Now Kate was pleading. "Espo, I've lost so much in my life. I've ruined so many chances, I can't lose Rick. I have to bring him back. I have to bring him home to me."

Esposito almost sneered. "Somehow I don't believe you. You've been busy playing the hot shot Fed. Even if I did believe you, you've done too much damage. Castle started out as a silly poser but he became a very important part of this team. His input helped solve a lot of cases. After you left he stayed away for about a week until Gates asked him to come back. He came back. Actually, Richard Rogers came back. Rick Castle didn't. Oh, he was still good, still had the insights but the jokes, the wisecracks were gone. Rick Castle was gone. About a month ago he came in and a he said was, _Bye guys, I'll miss you but I'm done_. We tried to talk him out of it but he wouldn't listen. We've heard nothing since. The look in his eyes that day, I've seen in soldier's eyes, those ready to die."

He paused for a breath, a muscle jumping in his clenched jaw. "I don't have a lot of friends and I just lost one, thanks to you. Don't bother calling Ryan; he feels the same way I do." Esposito turned his back on her and walked down the hall.

Captain Gates walked into the room. She looked at Beckett, her face stony.

"Does the Federal Government have some business with the 12th precinct, Agent Beckett?"

"No Captain, I just wanted to talk to…"

In an absolutely icy tone, Gates almost hissed, "Then get out! Your selfishness destroyed my most effective homicide team. I thought this would be a good career step for you, but not the way you've done it. You're not welcome here."

Beckett almost staggered from the mental shock. Except for her dad, everyone she loved was turning against her.

She sadly walked from the precinct to her favorite coffee shop. As she sat down with her coffee, she remembered all the times Castle had shown up with a smile on his face and her coffee cup in his hand. She might never see that face again. She put her head down on her arms and cried.

An hour later, she made her resolve. She wasn't accomplishing anything sitting here. If she was ever going to be happy she had to get her life back. She had to get her friends back. Most of all she had to get Rick back. That federal badge was a cold comfort at night.

She went into the library and used the computer to look up Combat Masters INC. She left the library and called the company.

Kate took a deep breath and said, "This is Federal Agent Katherine Beckett. I need to ask you a few questions about a possible recent client of yours."

"Is this a criminal matter, Agent?"

"We don't know, yet. An important New Yorker has not been heard from by his family or friends in over a month. It's completely out of character for him."

"Let me put you on hold while I check with my supervisor."

The two minutes that she was on hold seemed like an eternity to Kate.

The woman came back on the line. "My supervisor said that it's okay, so go ahead and ask your questions."

"In the last two weeks, have you had a Richard Castle register?"

"Sorry, Agent, no Richard Castle."

"He may be using an assumed name. What about Richard Rogers or Alexander Rogers?"

"No, no Rogers at all."

Kate was getting really frustrated and let out an exasperated sigh. The only lead she had wasn't panning out. Suddenly her eyes widened as she had an inspiration. "What about Jamison Rook?"

"No Jamison Rook, but there was a Jim Rook here. He took the Combined Combat pistol and Combat Shotgun courses. He left yesterday. We were surprised. Most of our clients are police or security personnel. He graduated second out of twenty."

Kate was excited now. "Can you describe him, please?"

"I'm just the receptionist. Let me have you speak to the course manager."

Another woman came on the line.

"Agent Beckett, I'm Samantha Stevens. I'm the course manager, also a senior instructor. How may I be of service to the federal Government?"

"Can you describe one of your recent clients, Jim Rook?"

"Easily, he left quite an impression."

Kate, irrationally, got a little steamed. She could hear the admiration in the other woman's voice.

"Big guy, stands about six one or six two about 210. It looks like he's been working out, lately. Brown hair, blue eyes, handsome man. The way he went through that course, he's mad as hell at somebody and I damn sure wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of his guns. One strange thing though, I can tell when a man is gay and he's not. But when I tried to correct his stance, he'd flinch away. He didn't do that with the other female instructor."

Kate bit her lip at that. "Did you say _guns_ a minute ago, Ms. Stevens?"

"Yes, he had us customize a Colt Officer, a Colt Combat Elite and a Remington 1187 police shotgun. He also bought a pair of holsters and spare magazines."

"Thank you, Ms. Stevens, you've been a great help."

Kate ended the call, went back to the library computer and called up the school's website, which included photographs of the instructors. Samantha Stevens had golden-brown curls and big brown eyes. She could have been Kate's sister.

Tears filled Kate's eyes again. _"Oh Rick, I really hurt you this time, didn't I? Please don't let it end us. Dear God, don't let him do something stupid and get himself killed. I don't know if I can survive it."_

Kate logged off the computer, went outside and hailed a cab. _Lanie should have my bag ready by now_, she thought. On the way to her apartment she called the airline and reserved a ticket.

She would call Washington and resign when she got to Flagstaff and turn in her badge at the office there. Meanwhile she'd use her federal credentials to get her gun through security. It was a personal purchase, not an issue one. She didn't have to turn it in.

On the way to the airport, Kate turned to Lanie. "You're right, Lanie. This job isn't worth it. I've lost most of my friends, I've lost the life I loved, and I lost the love of my life. If I can't get him back I don't know what I'll do."

From the front seat, Jim Beckett said, "Katie, you may be surprised at this, but while you were gone, Rick and I got close. I went over to his loft one night, just before he disappeared. He was really down. You leaving him was bad enough. But what was worse was he didn't feel that anyone needed him anymore. Alexis was all grown up and away in Costa Rica. Martha met someone that she seemed to be serious about. He couldn't write. He said that he had something to do and was leaving immediately. I tried to talk him out of it but I couldn't. He's hurting, he's angry, and he's lost his way. I told him to snap out of it and find a project. He said that he had one. As I was leaving he put on the strangest song, I think it was called Winter Born."

Lanie gasped quietly and said, "I know that song. Kate, if you don't find him and bring him around he's going to die out there."

Kate's face registered her fear. "Why do you say that, Lanie?"

"Because of a couple of lyrics in that song."

"What lyrics?"

Lanie's voice trembled as she repeated the lyrics, "_Within this moment I am for you though better men have failed, I will give my life for love for I am winter born. And you have asked me for this sacrifice and I am winter born_."

Kate started crying again. "What are you trying to do, turn a knife in my heart?"

Gently, Jim said, "No, Katie we're just trying to make you see how important it is that you get it right and make him love you and believe in you again. If you don't we've lost him. He can't come back from this without your love. He doesn't want to." They reached the airport and luckily this flight was lightly booked. Kate's credentials got her through security and on the aircraft in short order. She tried to sleep on the plane but couldn't She was too worried for Rick.

The plane landed early enough that Kate was able to secure a motel and rent a Ford Mustang GT. She was also able to purchase a police band scanner and a police two way radio.

That night, in the motel, she wrote out her resignation from the Attorney General's task force.

She tried to watch a little TV but nothing interested her. She tried surfing the Internet with the same result as the TV. She then opened the local newspaper. In the arts section, she came across a review of the latest Nikki Heat book. There were pictures of the front and back covers.

The picture of Rick Castle hit her like a punch in the gut. An anguished moan tore from her throat and she dropped the paper. She curled up on the bed, her whole body shuddering with her sobs.

Nothing that had happened the whole day hit her like this. That Rick's mischievous smile might never be hers again was too much to bear. Her imagination was too good. She'd seen too many crime scenes. It was too easy for her to picture Rick's body on a crash cart, his life draining away, the monitor going flatline.

She could picture Lanie's cold stare and accusation. "Cause of death: multiple gunshot wounds. It's all your fault, Kate."

Or Alexis's tear-stained face, hatred in her eyes, saying; "Why did you leave my dad? He loved you more than anything and now he's dead. I hate you, Beckett!"

Lying there, fully clothed, physically and emotionally exhausted, Kate finally fell asleep, but her sleep was tortured by replaying those nightmare scenes over and over.

Kate awoke, still tired. She looked in the mirror and was shocked at the red eyed, drawn face and disheveled image. _Is that me? My God I look terrible. I won't get anywhere looking like this!"_

She realized that she was terribly hungry. She hadn't eaten anything the previous day.

She quickly showered, shampooed her hair, and used a double dose of eye drops. She carefully applied her make-up and dressed in fresh clothes, put her dirty clothes in a laundry bag, gathered up her things and checked out of the hotel.

She found one of the better chain restaurants and ate a good, solid breakfast.

She then drove to the local Federal building and went to the Attorney General's field office.

The receptionist said, "Can I help you?"

"Yes, I'm Agent Katherine Beckett. I would like to see the supervisory field agent, please."

"Just a moment please, I'll see if he's busy." She pushed a key on the intercom. "There's an Agent Beckett to see you, sir."

"She can come in."

The receptionist nodded and said, "Go right in, Agent Beckett."

Kate entered the agent's office. A tall, gray haired man stood up and offered his hand.

"I'm Senior Agent Ken Talbot, Agent Beckett. I've heard good thing about you. I think that you'll be one of our rising stars."

Kate shook his hand, then said, "Thank you, sir, but I'm not here for accolades. I'm here to resign." She took the resignation, her badge and credentials out of her purse and laid them on the desk."

Agent Talbot looked shocked. "Can't we talk about this, Agent Beckett? You can go a long way in this organization."

She sighed. "There is nothing to talk about, sir. I've made up my mind. This job has cost me too much. It has destroyed my personal life. It may cost me the life of the one person dearest to me, if I don't resign. I might make a lot of sacrifices for this job but I won't make that one."

Talbot reached out a hand to try and restrain her. At the same time he said, "You just started. Think how much you can do; think what you owe your country."

She brushed his hand aside and with a furious look on her face said, "What I owe my _country_? I've already paid a price too high for a beauocrat like you to comprehend. I lost my friends, I lost my own self-respect and I've probably lost the man I love, maybe my last chance at happiness. To top it off, a powerful politician, a man protected by corrupt officials and self-righteous pseudo-cops, ordered the murder of a good cop _and_ my mother and he can't be touched. Don't try to tell me what I owe!"

She stormed out of the office and jumped into the Mustang, burning rubber as she took off.

She stopped at a gas station to get a map and directions to Combat INC. which was about 30 miles from Flagstaff. She also stopped at a coffee shop and started to order her favorite Grande Latte with two pumps of sugar free vanilla, but the order caught in her throat. She ordered black coffee. She wasn't going to drink latte again, until she could drink it with Rick.

It had been her favorite long before she met Rick Castle but it would now be forever associated with his goofy smile as he handed her a cup.

She had no trouble finding Combat Masters. She pulled up in front of a long, low, modern office structure. She could see several large training buildings and open firing ranges.

Kate drew in a deep breath then stepped out of the car. She was nervous. A lot of her hopes were pinned on what information she could get here.

_And just what will Kate find when she opens the door? Stay tuned to find out. Remember, reviews are appreciated!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

She entered the office and took off her sunglasses as the receptionist said, "May I help you?"

Kate brushed back her hair in a nervous gesture and said, "I'm Katherine Beckett, I called yesterday. I'd like to speak with Samantha Stevens if she's available."

"I remember, Agent Beckett. Just a moment please." She picked up her phone and spoke into it.

A moment later, an office door opened and a pretty, athletic woman stepped through.

She extended her hand and as they shook hands she said "Good morning, Agent Beckett. Won't you please step into my office?"

They sat down and Samantha said, "Would you care for some coffee?"

"No thank you, I just came here for information." She took one of Rick's publicity pictures out of her purse and handed it to Samantha. "Does that look like Jim Rook?"

"That's definitely Jim Rook, though Jim's hair is shorter and his face is more drawn, definitely hard lines around his mouth." Suddenly Samantha's jaw dropped. "Oh my God. That's Richard Castle! I recognize him from the Nikki Heat books. Why didn't I put two and two together? Jim Rook, Jamison Rook?" She took a good look at Kate and her eyes widened. "You fit the description of Nikki Heat!"

She spun around and grabbed a Nikki Heat book from her bookshelf. Kate hadn't even noticed it. Samantha opened the book and turned to the dedication. "Katherine Beckett! You're the K.B. from the dedication! I thought that you were a New York cop."

Kate looked down, sadly and said, " I was. I quit to work with the Feds. To tell the truth, I'm not even an agent anymore, I resigned this morning."

Samantha had an edge in her voice when she said, "Then why are you here?"

"I already told you that. I'm looking for Richard Castle. I have to find him before he does something stupid."

"That's not the only reason," Samantha said. Kate shook her head and took another picture out of her purse. In the picture, she had her arms around Castle's neck and they both had huge smiles on their faces. Samantha's jaw dropped open as she stared at Kate.

"You were his girl! That explains why he flinched away from me. That is one hurt and angry man. With the training we gave him, a dangerous one too. What did you do?"

"That's personal," Kate said. "I'm not going to tell you that. And why assume it was me that did something?"

Samantha rolled her eyes. "If he'd done something, he sure wouldn't be here sharpening his skills. He'd be with you. Now, if you want my help, you'll tell me at least the bare bones of what happened. I'm not a gossip or a source for the tabloids but I won't make a bad situation worse. If it's just a lover's quarrel, it's none of my business."

Kate hung her head for a minute then raised it and looked Samantha in the eyes.

"He asked me to marry him. I got scared and ran away to Washington without answering him. When I came back to New York, he was gone. No one knows for sure where he is. I think he's trying to investigate arms smuggling out here. He was an investigative reporter, but it was years ago. He's not a cop. He's a writer. He's pretty insightful but other than that he's just a big, lovable, clumsy, annoying goof."

Samantha gave Kate a very hard look. "Either you weren't really his girlfriend or you're damn unobservant for a cop and haven't been intimate with him for quite a while."

Kate stared at her. "What do you mean by that?"

"That man I saw on the combat range was anything but clumsy. And watching him, he's had training somewhere a long time ago. Recently, he's been training for at least a year and damn hard for the last three months and probably using light doses of steroids. He's as hard as a rock."

"Castle? That's impossible. He thinks a light roll in the hay is strenuous exercise."

Samantha raised an eyebrow. "Really? Let me show you a video. We take videos of our students and show the videos to them to help them correct their weak points."

Samantha went and got the video and started it. Kate's eyes widened in shock. The man on the screen was clearly Rick Castle, but not the one she was used to seeing. His face was thinner, his hair shorter. He was wearing black battle dress trousers and boots. His black t-shirt was sweat soaked and clung to his torso. He wasn't hugely muscled but the muscles were clearly defined and the love handles gone. He held a pistol at the ready.

Samantha laughed at Kate's expression. "Still think he's a big clumsy goof? I don't get it. You dump a rich, handsome man who loves you for a job? If you find him, bring him back here. I'll gladly take him off your hands."

Kate stood up, angrily. "I'm not interested in your opinion. Have you got anything to help me?"

Samantha stood also. "I'll give you what I know, only because I don't want that guy killed out in the desert. When he left here he asked me for the best route to Santa Fe and if I knew any good but inconspicuous places to stay. I told him about the Navajo Clouds Inn. Here, I'll mark your map."

As Kate was leaving Samantha's office the receptionist said, "Did you get the information you needed?"

"Yes, thank you," Kate replied.

The receptionist said, "Mr. Rook graduated pretty high in his class. We have souvenir pictures of the class for sale. An 8x10 for ten dollars."

"I'll take one."

Kate sat in the car, staring at the photograph. The class stood in two rows of ten. Rick was second from the right. They stood at attention, each man holding a combat shotgun at port arms.

The shotguns were of various makes and models but had three things in common. All were matte black, all were short barreled and all had lights and laser sights mounted under the magazine tube. In addition, each man wore a pistol.

Rick wore black trousers and boots, a black military or police style shirt, a black baseball cap and sunglasses.

Kate bit her lip to keep from crying. The tears still pooled in her eyes. "_What did you do Rick? You don't look like my writer, my sidekick, my partner; you look like a damn SWAT cop."_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Kate was grateful for the Mustang's efficient air conditioning on the long drive through the desert. She'd stopped for lunch at a McDonalds and picked up a couple of cans of energy drink and two bottles of Diet Coke at a convenience store.

She was exhausted as she pulled into Santa Fe. She checked into a triple a rated motel just a block away from the Navajo Clouds Inn and had dinner at the adjoining restaurant. She barely had time to strip off her clothes and fall into bed before she was sound asleep.

Kate awoke feeling much better then she had the day before. She'd needed that solid eight hours of sleep. She showered and dressed then went out for breakfast. She decided that she needed to do a little shopping as she hadn't brought many clothes with her, and her distinctly East Coast style didn't blend well.

She bought a local paper and a copy of the _New York Times_. The local paper was for breakfast reading and the _Times_ for later, in her room. Kate enjoyed a leisurely breakfast, and then bought some jeans and blouses, large sunglasses and a floppy hat. She bought a smoothie to enjoy back in her room.

Sitting cross-legged on the bed, Kate spread out the newspaper to see how things were going in New York. In the Entertainment section an article caught her eye. _How do you hide a Castle?_ By Linda Margrave.

_How do you hide a Castle? Celebrity author Richard Castle, author of the popular Nikki Heat books, hasn't been seen at his usual haunts in over three months and not at all in the last month. One of the most eligible bachelors in New York has simply dropped off the radar. Rumor has it that he's nursing a broken heart. Certain sources claim that he was dating his muse for the Nikki Heat series, a beautiful NYPD detective. Those same sources state that it's no longer the case. Wouldn't you want to mend his broken heart? I know that I surely would like to try! Come on ladies, who wouldn't want to own a Castle? Wouldn't a treasure hunt be fun?_

Kate was furious at the article. _How dare they? If Rick saw that article it would make things much worse than they already were._

She had the photograph from Combat Masters on the bed. It gave her an idea. She went to a local photo shop and asked if they could blow up just the picture of Castle and print five copies and have it ready in two hours. They said that they could but it would cost extra. She told them to go ahead. She purchased a digital camera. After picking up the prints she called Ryan.

"What do you want, Beckett?" he answered. She winced at the coldness of his tone.

"I need your help, Ryan. I know that you're mad at me and I deserve it, but it's not for me, it's for Rick. I think that he's into something that could get him killed. I have to get him out of here and back home where it's safe. I need more information. I'm going to fax you a photograph of Rick, taken within the week. If you agree with me, call me back."

"Safe for him or safe for you? I'm not sure if his being with you is safe for him." He sighed. "Send the picture anyway." Kate grabbed one of the prints and headed for an office supply store that had a public fax machine. She sent the fax then returned to her room to wait. The half hour it took for her phone to ring seemed like a whole day to her.

When it finally rang, Kate grabbed the phone so fast that she almost dropped it. "Hello?"

"It's Ryan, Beckett. I'll help you. That photograph scares me. I could never picture Castle like that. If he's gone that far, he's going to be hard to stop. Give me a few hours. I'll see what I can find out. I'll call you at around six P.M. your time."

Ryan clicked off and Kate pondered what to do until he called again. She sat for a minute then thought, _I'll reconnoiter._ Kate put on the new sunglasses and the floppy hat, got in the Mustang and drove to the Navajo Clouds Inn. Parking the Mustang in a shady spot, she picked up her camera and her purse, locked the car and proceeded to act like a tourist. Since he wasn't looking for her, even if he spotted her, Rick probably wouldn't recognize her. With her hair up, the large sunglasses and the hat shading her face, she wouldn't seem any different than a thousand other women.

She strolled past the motel, casually snapping pictures. Her heart skipped a beat. There was Rick's pick-up parked in front of unit seven. Kate chuckled. She wasn't sure if it was coincidence or Rick's sense of humor, playing 007. As luck would have it, at that moment, Rick came out and climbed into the truck. He looked like he was trying to blend into the local scene.

He wore faded blue jeans, a khaki shirt, tan cowboy boots, a ball cap, and aviator style sunglasses.

"_You're better than I thought you were, Rick. Too damn good, in fact, _she thought.

She quickly ran to the Mustang, unlocked it, climbed in and started it. Luckily he turned onto the street and took off in the direction she was facing. She was thankful that it was Saturday morning. The traffic wasn't heavy enough to cause problems but not so light that she'd be easily spotted.

Rick pulled his truck into a large gated parking garage and emerged a few minutes later carrying a black duffel bag. He walked a few blocks to a large car dealership and went inside. She knew that she was taking a risk, but she parked the Mustang and went into the dealership, picked up a brochure and sat down pretending to read it. Rick was talking to a salesman.

A young woman walked up to her. "Can I help you find a car?" the saleswoman asked.

"My boyfriend is looking for a truck," Kate said. "I'm just killing time."

"Is that him over there?" she asked, nodding at Rick.

"I wish," Kate said, the mental pain stabbing her as she said it. _He should be your fiancé, you damn fool, _she thought.

"You and I both," said the woman. "That one's a hunk."

A couple of minutes later the salesman brought around an older but beautifully maintained Chevy Yukon. Rick and the salesman climbed in to take it for a test drive.

Keeping up the act, Kate said, "I wonder where my boyfriend is? He'd be late to his own funeral."

"Why don't you wait in the customer's lounge? I'm sure he'll be here soon," the woman said.

Glad of the excuse to stay, Kate went into the lounge, drew a cup of coffee from the urn and selected a chocolate doughnut from the box on the table. She gave a mental shrug. _The profit they made on the truck Rick was buying would cover a thousand doughnuts. _She could see the showroom from where she sat. It wasn't too long before she saw Rick and the salesman come back into the showroom. They went into an office and a few minutes later they came back out and shook hands. She could hear the salesman say, "It will only be a few minutes while we fill the gas tank and you can be on your way, Mr. Rogers. Why don't you grab a doughnut while you wait?"

"Sounds good," Rick said.

Panic time! Kate saw the women's room at the corner of the lounge. She ran to it and slipped inside as Rick entered the lounge. She kept the door open a crack and sighed in relief as Rick took a doughnut then stepped back into the showroom to admire a Ford GT 140 that was on display.

"It's ready, sir," she heard. She slipped out of the showroom and ran to her car as fast as she could. She got the Mustang started but had to make a U-turn as Rick drove off in the other direction. It wasn't hard to spot the big SUV as it took an on ramp to the freeway.

They went about two miles before Rick took an off-ramp. There was a sign that said Fair Grounds This Exit. Rick pulled into the fair grounds. A big sign read GUNSHOW THIS WEEKEND.

"_What are you up to now?_ She thought as she followed him. _Eight dollars just to be allowed to shop? Outrageous! _Kate thought but she paid it. She lost track of Castle several times in the crowd but spotted him at a table. She knew that if she stayed in one spot for any length of time without buying something, people would get suspicious. She spotted a very nice folding knife at a very good price, so she bought it. She also bought a bag of jerky. Then she saw a truly beautiful pair of turquoise and silver earrings for a third of what they would cost in New York. She decided to buy them as a peace offering for Lanie.

Meanwhile, she was able to watch as Castle filled out some forms. Managing to work herself closer, she could see that Castle had picked up a SOCOM 16 rifle and a scope along with a case, several magazines and several boxes of .308 ammunition.

"_Jesus, Castle what do you know that I don't? It looks like you're preparing for war!"_ she thought. That thought scared her to the depths of her being. That this gentle, caring, humorous, loving man had laid down his pen and was taking up the sword was terrifying. She watched as he stopped at a table near the door. The sign read "Gunsmith." The man at the table took the rifle out of the box and mounted the scope to its rail, as well as the bipod with sling attached, and a LAZER sight. Boxes were discarded, the rifle packed into the case, and ammo and spare magazines into side pockets of the case. Two more purchases were a Gerber MK2 combat knife and 1000 rounds of ammunition.

Kate was closer to him than she'd been in three months, less than ten feet away. His gaze passed over her, paused for a second, and then moved on. That gaze ripped at her heart. It was so bleak, so devoid of anything like love, hope or the laughter she used to know. The deep blue eyes were glacial and the once smiling mouth a thin, grim line. She ached to take him in her arms but knew she couldn't. Not here, not now. She couldn't accept not ever. As she watched him leave the show, she hated herself. Not only for what she'd done to Castle and how she'd disappointed her friends, but for the scared weepy woman she was at the moment. This wasn't the tough, take-charge Kate Beckett. She hadn't cried so much or felt so helpless since her mother was killed.

_Damn it! This isn't me, _she thought. _I thought I had it all. I thought everything was just right. And I did, it was until I threw it away because of my pride, my ego and my damn walls. But I'm not dead and neither is he. I can fix this. I will fix this! All I have to do is get my head out of my butt and do it!_

Kate had been lost in thought until somebody said, "Is there a problem miss? Can I help you?"

A worried security guard was looking at her. Kate pasted on a fake smile. "No, thank you, I'm fine. I was just thinking." She'd only lost a few minutes, but when she looked up, Castle was nowhere in sight. She ran into the parking lot, hoping she wasn't too late. Castle was long gone. All she could do now was to go back to the motel and wait for Ryan to call.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Castle was driving along the freeway headed back to his motel. He was driving automatically, only a portion of his mind on the road. He was thinking of something else entirely.

He'd seen a woman at the gun show that reminded him of Beckett. But then every young woman of a similar build reminded him of Beckett. Not Kate any more, just Beckett. Not even his Beckett. Not his Beckett any more. _She probably never had been_, he thought sourly.

_Two years I waited, TWO YEARS! I bet she had fun bragging to all her friends how she was leading writer boy around by his nose. Why the hell didn't I learn? I told her that I loved her the day she was shot and she told me that she didn't remember. But she did! For three months, no calls, and then we worked like nothing was said. Until she came to me after the storm. I thought that things had changed, that we were making love, but maybe it wasn't as much to her. During the bomb ordeal she told me she loved me. And like an idiot I believed her, but I guess she was just scared._

_Then Washington. I bet that she and McCord had a lot of laughs at how stupid I was. The only good thing to come out of this whole mess was my friendship with Espo and Ryan. I miss those guys. But that's over too. Mom's finally found a good guy and she's happy._

_Alexis is an adult now. She's been growing away from me the last couple of years. That's as it should be. There's plenty of money, they'll be okay. I'm not needed any more. Except for this last thing. I know that Bracken's connected to these gun runners I'm going to get Bracken. His men will probably get me but that's okay. I've finally got a real mission._

Castle almost missed his off ramp but with a squeal of tortured rubber he made it. Luckily, no cops were around. He stopped to order a pizza, picked up a bottle of Scotch and returned to his room. Once inside, he ate the pizza, cleaned and oiled the rifle, put it away and opened the bottle of Scotch.

Kate returned to her room, got out her laptop and preceded to do a little research while she waited for Ryan's call. Ryan called right on time.

She answered the phone. "Beckett."

"It's Ryan, Beckett. It's been a hell of a day. I couldn't get anywhere at first until Gates caught me. She surprised me. She called the Mayor and the Mayor called the Governor. They're both friends of Castle. They called in some favors. Are you sitting down, Beckett?"

"Yes I am, why?"

"You're not going to like what you hear. We think that Castle is going after Bracken."

Kate was glad that she was sitting down. "Going after Bracken? That's crazy!" she exclaimed. "They'll kill him! He doesn't have the resources or training!"

Ryan hesitated long enough for Kate to grow suspicious. "I wouldn't be too sure about that, Beckett. He's got some pretty heavy backing."

Kate's face paled and she caught her breath. "What do you mean by that?"

"Beckett, have you ever seen his driver's license?"

"Come to think of it, no I haven't."

Ryan said, "He did change to Richard Edgar Castle, but he recently changed it back. His legal name is still Richard Alexander Rogers. Because of his friendship with the mayor we never ran a deep background check on him, just enough that we knew that he was clean. Don't worry, he has no criminal record, but Richard Alexander Rogers has a Federal CCW, and it's not new, but still in force. He also has a top secret security clearance."

_Oh my God, Rick, who are you? _Kate thought.

"Where are you, Beckett?" Ryan asked.

"I'm at the _Casa_ _Tres Arbolas _motel in Santa Fe," Kate replied.

"Sit tight, Beckett, someone will be there to brief you in the morning."

Kate spent a restless night, tossing and turning and experiencing nightmares. She awoke early, quickly showered, dressed and had just finished applying her makeup when she heard a knock on the door. She slipped her gun out of her purse and said, "Who is it?"

"Jackson Hunt, Ms. Beckett. Detective Kevin Ryan told you to expect me,"

Cautiously Kate opened the door. A tall, slender, gray-haired man dressed in crisply starched khakis and a bush jacket stood there. "Ms. Beckett, my name is Jackson Hunt. I'm Rick Castle's father. We need to talk about information."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"After breakfast we'll talk. Right now I'm hungry and would like to treat you to breakfast." Kate was somewhat bemused by the curtness of the man, but said nothing. They walked to the restaurant which served very standard food that was quite tasty.

After they finished the meal and the small talk, Kate leaned back and said, "Here or the motel?"

"Motel," Hunt said, "Better security. More comfort."

When they had settled at the motel, Hunt said, "Before we begin this, I have to know how you really feel about my son. It's critical."

Kate's face took on a worried look and she hunched up a little.

"I don't know I'm so confused. Rick lied to me. I don't know who he is."

Hunt didn't smile or offer to touch her. "I will tell you a couple of things and then ask you again. First of all, Rick didn't lie to you. Everything he ever told you about himself is true. How he feels about you is true. There are just things he couldn't tell you for your own protection and for national security.

"National security?" Kate asked, visibly surprised.

"Yes, so I'll ask you again, how do you feel about Rick? Because if you love him, we'll go on. If you don't, get your selfish little ass back to D.C. and play superfed!"

Kate flared. "You don't have any right to talk to me like that! Who in the hell do think you are?"

Hunt snapped right back. "I'm Rick's father! I may not have been a good father but I love my son, and I don't want my granddaughter to be fatherless, which she will be if we don't slow Rick down."

Kate bit her lip, then tears started falling as she said, "I love Rick, and I'm in love with him. The thought of losing him gives me nightmares. I hate myself when I think what I did to him. I never admitted this before because I never felt like this before. If Rick dies, I don't want to live. If I lose him because of what I did, I won't be able to live with myself."

"Okay Kate. I believe you." Hunt put a hand on Kate's shoulder. "Listen with your heart; forgive what Rick didn't tell you, because he couldn't. Rick already had a lot of potential as a writer, even in high school. Even then he'd try to research his characters. When Rick was in college, he took ROTC and excelled at it. When he graduated he took his commission in the infantry. Following the Officer Basic Course he attended the jump school and the Ranger school, graduating high in his class in both. I was already high in the CIA and I wanted to recruit Rick as he could use his research of his characters as a reason for asking questions without raising suspicion."

He paused to see how Kate was taking it. She was gazing at him intently, a serious but otherwise unreadable expression on her face.

"At the time I wanted to recruit him, counter intelligence detected some serious leaks in the CIA. My boss came up with the idea that we'd convince the Army to transfer Rick to Military Intelligence and have them second him to us. That way his name would never appear on our list of employees." Hunt paused to get some water. After a few sips, he continued. "We convinced Rick to accept the transfer, using the argument that the Army had more than enough Ranger officers but MI never had enough good field officers. He'd proven that he was well qualified as a Ranger he didn't have to live it. The Army faked a report of a back injury and issued a phony medical discharge.

"He actually went into MI. But the phony discharge enabled us to start the mystery writer cover, which turned out not to be a cover at all but a very accomplished career, as you know. His first covert mission was shadowing Sophia Turner. She fooled him, but she fooled the rest of us too. He completed a number of missions as a field officer as well, getting wounded in the process. You know the Meredith story." He rolled his eyes, obviously not fond of his former daughter-in-law.

Hunt continued. "When Alexis was about seven he resigned from active service. She needed her father at home all the time. Meredith is such a selfish ditz. Martha bought the cover story, at first, but became suspicious. He just couldn't keep Martha in ignorance any longer. He still kept his hand in in a reserve status. After you were shot and pushed him away, he was determined to protect you, so he wanted to return to active status. It was granted. All his records were updated and all records of the phony discharge eradicated. He's a major, Infantry detailed to Military Intelligence. He wanted to look at your mother's murder not from a police officer's point of view but that of an intelligence officer. He was determined to keep you safe and at the same time get enough on Bracken to either imprison him or force him to call off his dogs. It's been a long, cooperating investigation with the CIA and other agencies. We've finally got enough on Bracken to put him in an ultra- secure prison for ten consecutive lifetimes. I thought that if we brought Rick in on the investigation once we put Bracken away, it would satisfy him."

He sighed. "I underestimated my son. His anger and hatred of Bracken runs too deep. Your leaving was the last straw. He came back to the Fort Benning to refresh his training."

Kate frowned. "Why would he take ROTC to begin with if he was going to be a writer?"

Hunt shook his head. "He didn't have a dad around to teach him about sports or take him to games. Or go hunting and fishing. He spent most of his youth with books and tried to do the stunts his heroes did. He got injured a lot. I'm guessing here but I think ROTC was a way to prove that he was as manly as the next guy. Once he was commissioned, he went as tough a course as he could.

"All of Bracken's top lieutenants are going down too. His enforcers are all foreign nationals and have been declared hostile combatants with a shoot on sight order. Rick is determined to take Bracken out. All the way out! We can't let him do that. He's not an assassin." Hunt stopped and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"He'd not have a problem taking out the goons. That would be self-defense. But a straight out assassination? He couldn't handle that. I don't mean he couldn't shoot Bracken. He could and would. But the guilt, afterward, would eat him alive. So we have to get him out of there before he does. There have been a lot of good people hurt by these street punks. We're going to put the fear factor into the ones who aren't terminated with extreme prejudice."

Kate had a very serious look on her face. "What can I do? I resigned from the agency."

Hunt reached into his case and handed her credentials and badge over.

"I got them back. Officially you're on special assignment."

Kate looked Hunt straight in the eyes, the determination on her lovely face unmistakable. She said, "Agent, cop or neither. You had better believe that I'm getting Rick back. I don't care what it takes. If I have to beg and plead, even if I have to drag him in kicking and screaming and I have to sit on him till he believes me I am going to make him know that I really love him, that my damn walls are down until I can rebuild them with Alexis and him with me inside. If he's stopped loving me, I'll make him love me again. I will have his love and trust for as long as we live!"

Hunt gave her a small nod. "Beckett, I will remind you that this matter is classified Top Secret." Kate nodded and Hunt opened the door, checked the area carefully, and headed out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

A few minutes later, her phone rang again. Again she answered, tersely, "Beckett."

"This is Captain Gates, Agent Beckett. I am still disgusted at your behavior to this precinct and to Mr. Castle. Correction: Major Rogers. But I have my orders. Since you are part of this investigation and I have been informed that it ties into several unsolved murders in New York, including that of your mother, I have been told to dispatch Detectives Esposito and Ryan out to represent the NYPD and assist the Federal task force. I am asking you to meet them at the airport and transport them to your motel and arrange a room for them."

Kate's face lit up. "I'll be glad to pick them up and get them rooms."

"Your assistance is appreciated, Agent Beckett." Gates hung up.

Kate was cheered up by the call. Maybe she'd have a chance to patch things up with Esposito and Ryan as well as Rick. After dinner with Hunt, Kate came back and decided to turn on the TV and relax a little. That was a mistake. It seemed like the whole world was ganging up on her.

One of the early evening talk shows was on and two women were discussing the Nikki Heat books. The host said to the guest, " I am told that you have met Richard Castle in person, what's he like?"

The guest smirked. "Well, Linda, he's better looking than that book jacket and very charming." The host said, "I've read all the Heat books and he sure writes a hot love scene. I wonder if he can carry one out?"

"I wouldn't bet against it Linda. I once saw him with that cop, and she had a satisfied look on her face. I hear that she's out of the picture now. When he gets back from where ever he's gone I'd sure like a crack at him, I bet he could light my fire!"

Kate snapped the TV off and her temper flared. _I'm out of the picture, am I? Like Hell I am! Rick is mine! I want him back and I'll have him back! You'll never get a crack at him, you bitch! Neither will anyone else! _

Then she just lay on the bed feeling miserable. The woman had started a train of thought she didn't want. Her body ached in her need. She'd been celibate since Rick. She couldn't help but remember their love-making. Rick was sweet and gentle yet still able to drive her wild. He was the best lover she'd ever had. _The ONLY lover I've ever had._ She thought. _The rest, even Josh had been a lot of fun but only sexual partners. Damn I miss Rick, damn me for a fool."_ She buried her face in the pillow, as the burning tears she so despised flooded her eyes.

Kate waited at the arrivals area, anxious as to how Esposito and Ryan would be. She missed her old friends, badly, almost as much as she missed Rick. They had been more than a team. They had treated her more like an older sister than anything else. She also hadn't realized how deep their bond with Castle had been until Esposito tore into her.

She saw Esposito and Ryan before they saw her, both dressed in casual clothes. She met them at the baggage claim. "Espo, Ryan. It's good to see you!" she exclaimed.

"Agent Beckett." They both replied. There was no warmth in their voices. Kate winced at the tone.

"Follow me please. I'll get you to the motel and we can talk," she said.

The short ride to the motel passed in complete silence. Esposito sat in the front passenger seat, staring straight ahead. Kate had bought a six pack of beer on the way to the airport.

When the men were settled in their room, Kate handed out the beer and sat down.

"Guys, can we please talk about the situation?"

Esposito stood and crossing his arms said, "We just got here with no intel. How can we talk about it?"

"I'm not talking about the mission and you know it! I miss you guys. I want to fix this."

Esposito just picked up his beer and walked outside.

Ryan looked at her, frowned and said, "I don't know if you can fix it, Beckett. Maybe you can. I'm not sure. If you can fix Castle maybe, but if not, no chance at all. You hurt Espo and me by deserting our team. But you destroyed Castle. He was like a brother to us. Do you know what it's like to watch a friend implode? Not physically of course. But each day a little more humor was gone; another wisecrack died. The Rick Castle we knew was gone. Someone else replaced him, someone a lot more Richard Rogers than Rick Castle."

Ryan's original frown had turned into a very cold gaze. "Even if you win him back, I'm not sure that you deserve him. After all that you've done to him, he still loves you so much that he's willing to take Bracken out to protect you, even if it costs him his life!"

Esposito came back in and added his glare to Ryan's. The pain that he was feeling was evident on his face. "I feel really stupid. I was Special Forces. How could I miss recognizing another fighting man when I saw one? We've got a lot of information in the past day. Castle's active service was fairly short but he earned the Silver Star and the Purple Heart. He wasn't CIA, he was Military Intelligence. God, I don't know how we underestimated and undervalued him. I really can't understand how you could!"

Ryan chipped in. "Jenny even made a comment. She said, _A thousand women in New York would kill to have Rick in their lives and never let him go. Kate not only let him go, she threw him away! _Thanks for the ride Beckett, now go back to your room. You're not doing any of us any good here." Kate, despondent, left their room and slowly walked back to her own. She had no idea how to fix it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Castle sat in his room staring at his laptop. He'd already had his daily run and workout and didn't have anything to do until late afternoon and early evening, when he'd run a reconnaissance of the area where Bracken was supposed to meet his suppliers. He was a writer, a good one. Words had always been his refuge. Lately he couldn't find them. He was browsing a poetry site when a poem by A.E. Houseman nearly jumped out at him.

"_The Land of Lost Content._

_Into my heart an air that kills from far yon country blows. What are those blue remembered hills, what spires what farms are those?_

_That is the land of lost content I see it shining plain. The happy highways where once I went and cannot come again."_

_You were my land of content Kate, for much too short a time. I would have given you all the world that I could but I wasn't enough. I was never enough. I was just the funniest kid in the third grade. I was just your personal clown. Well, the kid finally grew up and took off the clown suit. Quoth the Raven; Nevermore. I tried to hate you, Kate but I can't. I tried to stop loving you but I can't do that either. Alexis, my beautiful daughter. The only person who truly loved me unconditionally. If this comes out the way it very well could, I'm sorry. This will be hard on you, I know. But it comes for all of us, someday. Thank God you are in Costa Rica. I never told you that I asked Beckett to marry me, so you don't know she didn't want me. I've set it up that you will always be taken care of. I don't ever want you to know what a fool I am, _Castle thought.

Castle stood up and shook his head. _All this maudlin crap isn't doing me any good. I have a mission to prepare for. I'm going to the range._ Castle picked up his rifle bag and headed for the nearest target range.

Esposito and Ryan had rented their own car, a nondescript Ford Escape, a couple of years old.

They were surveiling Castle and had been ordered to keep Beckett in the loop. Both were dressed like locals, in jeans, work shirts and boots. Esposito wore cowboy boots, Ryan work boots. Esposito had a cowboy hat, Ryan a ball cap, and both wore Oakley sunglasses. They saw Castle loading the gun case into the SUV and pull out. Ryan got on his hand held radio, using code phrases in case anyone was listening. He keyed the microphone. "White Queen's Pawn to White Queen, the Queen's Rook is on the move. We are watching the board, carefully." Kate smiled a little at the code Hunt had chosen. It made her feel better that Hunt had designated her White Queen.

Kate put on her sunglasses and floppy hat, ran to the Mustang and waited for an update. "White Queen's Pawn to White Queen, Queen's Rook west bound on the freeway. Over."

"White Queen to Queen's Pawn, I am following, now, out."

Kate started the Mustang, put it in gear and followed. Following directions, Kate pulled up beside Esposito and Ryan. They were in the parking lot of a large range complex. She got out and stood by Esposito and Ryan. They could see Castle standing behind the benches, waiting for a cease fire.

It wasn't long in coming. "Cease fire, cease fire! All shooters place unloaded rifles on the bench, bolts open and step behind the white line." After a pause the Range Master said, "You may now go down range to check, place or remove your targets."

They watched as Castle walked down range to set up his targets at the 100 meter point. There were two targets, side by side. One was a standard bull's eye, the other a silhouette. Esposito pointed and said, "Look they've got an enclosed viewing area. Let's go see how he does."

Ryan grinned. "Good idea, I want to see if he's put all this time away from us to good use."

Kate was getting angry, in spite of herself. Her cheeks were flushed and there was a dangerous sparkle to her eyes. "Yes, and all the time that he's been hiding things from me."

"Hey, that's not his fault," Esposito said. "He had his orders and he was protecting you and us."

That didn't mollify Kate at all. Her eyes flashed as she said, "We're cops. How much protection did he think we need? If he'd told me, I wouldn't have worried as much. I'd still have worried but not as much."

Ryan ignored her anger. "How much protection do YOU need Beckett? You were shot by a sniper to keep you away from the conspiracy! Why were you worried anyway? Castle signed a waiver of liability."

As quickly as it came, her anger was gone. Her expressive eyes were filled with sadness. "Why does Jenny worry about you, Kevin?"

"That's pretty obvious, Beckett. She loves me, with all her heart."

Kate smiled, sadly. "And that's how I love Castle. Guys, please, I can't go on like this. Let me buy you dinner, tonight then we'll go back to the motel and talk this out, over drinks. In vino veritas."

Esposito wasn't buying it. "I don't want to talk to you Beckett, any more than I have to!"

Ryan turned to Esposito, his face showing his anger. "Shut the hell up, Espo. I'm not any happier with her than you are, at the moment but we worked together for eight years and she was like a sister to us. What's three months out of that? We're going to listen, tonight. We owe that to her. We owe that to Castle. We both know that if she can't save them, he's going to turn into a berserker! Now let's go see how he's doing, what we may have to deal with."

They went into the enclosed viewing area. There were a number of spotting scopes affixed to a rail with slides. Just as they sat down Castle began firing at the bull's eye target. A steady round every two seconds, the mark of an experienced rifleman.

Ryan looked through the scope. All twenty rounds were on target, nothing out of the eight ring, most in the nine with the center x obliterated. Castle then shifted to the silhouette target and repeated the performance except for two rounds which went into the head.

He then shifted to the two and three hundred meter targets, which were metal plates, eliciting a steady bong, bong, bong.

Esposito looked through the scope and whistled. "We've got a problem, bro. If he were shooting for score, that would be expert, on the high side. That SOCOM 16 is supposed to be a close quarter's battle rifle. He's hitting steadily at three hundred meters! He probably had it accurized, that's why he picked it up, out here." He looked worriedly at his companions. "This is no fly by night operation. He's been planning this for some time."

Kate hunched over, crossing her arms. "I think so," she said. "Ever since I got shot."

Castle went to a work area, field stripped and cleaned the rifle. He reassembled it and put back in the case. He secured the rifle and walked over to the combat course section of the pistol range.

Kate , Espo and Ryan followed him over to the combat course. Castle was wearing the Combat Elite in a drop down thigh holster and the officer in a cross draw at his waist.

They watched him fit sensors to his head, chest and biceps and realized that the targets were fitted with infrared projectors to score if the shooter didn't fire fast enough or failed to spot a target. A buzzer sounded and Castle drew as he ran. He fired six rapid shots, hitting all six targets before he crouched in a sheltered spot to reload. He jumped up and downed three more targets, holstered the Combat Elite and drew the Officer, all on the move. He fired four more rounds, and then cursed as the sensor on his left arm flashed red. He reloaded both pistols then finished the course. He walked off the course and accepted a cold bottle of water from the course operator, listening intently as he critiqued Castle's performance.

"Holy Christ," Ryan interjected, "he's better than I am and almost as good as you, Espo."

"He couldn't get that good in three months," Espo said. "That sneaky bastard has been practicing all along." The tone in his voice was one of admiration.

Ryan took a last look at Castle and said, "We've seen what he can do. We'd better get out of here before he sees us. If that happens before we can arrange a meet, all hell will break loose."

The look on Kate's face was one of utter conviction. "He'd never hurt me guys, whatever else he might do, and he'd never hurt either one of you."

Ryan looked very serious and a little scared. "No, he wouldn't hurt us, but he could easily go completely off the grid and do a _Lobo Run _on Bracken, figuring we're here to stop him."

"Well, we are, aren't we?" Kate said, looking worriedly at Castle.

"Only to stop him from assassinating Bracken," Espo said, "not to keep him out of the bust. Now let's get out of here before he does see us."

Castle started back to the work area to clean his pistols. Something made him glance up.

Two men and a woman were getting into two separate cars. They were over sixty yards away.

_That sure looks like Beckett, Espo and Ryan. It must be my over active imagination. I've got to stop doing that. They're out of my life. They'd have no reason to be way out here. I can't let my damn foolish heart distract me. I have a mission._

Castle finished cleaning his pistols, put the Elite in a lock case, loaded the Officer and slipped it into an inside the pants holster. As he was driving back, he saw a liquor store and was tempted to buy a bottle of Scotch. _Better not, I need to keep head clear. I'm off the sauce till this is over._

He stopped into a Starbuck's instead and bought a family size container of coffee and a mug.

His room had a microwave oven and a mini-fridge in a small kitchenette so he stopped in a market, bought some microwave dinners, paper plates, napkins and plastic utensils. He laughed at himself as he thought; _James Bond sure had it better than this._ _What the hell, it is what it is._

He drove back to his motel and prepared for the evening's action.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

That evening, Kate, Esposito and Ryan went to an upscale Mexican restaurant. They each had an excellent margarita from the large selection and shared a family size platter of fajitas. They stopped at a liquor store on the way back, bought a bottle of tequila and the fixings for Tequila Sunrises.

Kate mixed drinks for them all and took a large swig of hers before she sat down, her pain evident in the set of her features, the sorrow in her eyes. "How do I explain this to you, guys? How can I make amends, get back to where we were? I am so, so sorry for what I did. I was the most selfish person I can think of. I wanted the job; I wanted the status that goes with it.

"And I was scared. I knew that if I gave myself to Rick I had to go all the way. No more walls. I had to let him see my soul. He wouldn't settle for anything less, because he was giving all that to me. So I ran and hid in Washington. I let him think that I didn't love him I didn't mean to do that. And you guys. I didn't think what it would do to you. You've been more than partners, you've treated me like family, like a big sister, and like a selfish spoiled brat I ran away from home." Kate tried to hold back the tears but she couldn't. In a broken voice, she continued. "What I did to Rick was terrible. It was cruel, and it was selfish. I pray to God he can find a way to forgive me to love me as much as I love him, to trust me again. I knew that I loved him but not how much until I stepped off that plane and he wasn't there. I want him back in my life, I want _us _back. Guys, he's my one and done. I want you guys, my brothers back. I want my family whole."

Watching her earnest, pleading face, most of Ryan and Esposito's anger dissolved but not quite all of it. Ryan sighed and tried to explain. "Another thing you took away from us was some of the fun in our lives. Castle's wisecracks, jokes, wild theories that kept us laughing and his beer busts at the beach house. Jenny and I didn't have the money for a good honeymoon. Castle let us use the house complete with cook and maid, fully stocked. Every time Jenny has a bunch of ladies over that story gets told.

"Tonight is a first step and a good one. If you can bring our old Rick back, give us our bro back that will be the second. Rejoining the team will finish it. The reason we think that you can do it is this; you hurt Castle, savagely, but you didn't break him. I don't think he can be broken."

Kate's expression was a mixture of sadness and fear. "No, but he can be killed, or worse. If he assassinates Bracken, he'll probably get away with it but it would destroy him as a person. It wouldn't be long before he ate his pistol."

"That won't happen," Espo said. "We'll stop him before it gets that far. Let's call it a night. We've made a good start. It's enough."

Even with the heavy load of alcohol, Kate didn't sleep well that night. The nightmares wouldn't let her.

At the same time as Kate and the guys were having their discussion Castle, dressed in dark non- descript clothing, headed out to scout the location that had been described as the main meeting place for Bracken his criminal associates. It was in a low rent industrial park, mostly warehouses that had a couple of cheap bars on the fringe. One was called _El Lobo Loco_ and was a hang- out for Latino gangsters. The other was a biker bar called _Iron Angel._ Castle immediately gave up the idea of trying to infiltrate either one.

He found a dirt road leading off into the desert, about half a mile beyond the industrial park.

About another half mile down the road he found a clump of cottonwood trees and pulled the SUV behind them. He got some dark make up out and applied it to his face and hands. From a distance he could pass as Hispanic. He got out of the SUV, pulled on a watch cap, got out a pair of night glasses and a camera, then fitted a suppressor to his Sig P228. He didn't intend to shoot anyone unless he was discovered by the wrong people.

The camera was fitted with light amplifying lenses and was nearly silent in operation. Quiet as a big cat, Castle ghosted near the complex. Even if he hadn't been quiet, the music blasting from the bars masked his movements. It took him an hour moving around the complex to get all the details he needed.

He was headed back to his SUV when some sixth sense warned him and he dived to the left as two muzzle flashes lit the night less than ten feet away. He rolled to his feet as two more went off and a bullet whizzed past his ear. It wasn't likely that anyone would have heard the shots over the music. It was certain that no one heard the soft coughs of Castle's return fire. The first hollow point 9mm took the shooter in the chest, the second in the base of his throat.

Castle left him where he lay, certain that when his buddies found him they would assume that it was an encounter with a rival gang. Castle ran to his SUV and drove off.

Don Whipple was pissed when his phone went off at 3 AM. Whipple was Bracken's chief hatchet man. "Whipple," he growled.

"We got a problem, Dude." It was Felix "The Cat" Cortes, one of the gang's chief workers, moving arms, drugs and women across the border for Bracken.

Whipple's face scrunched into a scowl. "What kind of problem, Cat?"

"Juanito found Rigo out in the desert. Somebody iced him."

Whipple scowled even harder. "Sounds like one of your rivals moving in on you. Don't bother me with crap like that, handle it!"

Kate awoke early, still tired but she knew that she had a lot to do today. Tomorrow was the first scheduled meeting of the team leaders of the various agencies involved in the take down of Bracken and his associates. Thankfully she wasn't a team leader but she would check in for a briefing at the end of it. After the meeting the various full teams would disperse around the city waiting for the go signal. There was an arrest team from the AG's office and various tactical teams from the other agencies. Rick wouldn't be there as he wasn't a team leader. Hunt would brief him in a couple of days.

Kate showered and dressed, then groaned and took a couple of analgesics. _Damn it! I should know better than to drink sweet tequila drinks. They always give me a headache! _she thought.

Kate went to the restaurant next to the motel and, unusual for her, ordered a hearty breakfast. She wasn't sure if she would have a chance to eat lunch. While she was waiting for her order she glanced across the room and her emotions took another hit. A couple was having breakfast.

A large handsome man and a petite dark haired woman were laughing, more into each other than their food. One of the so many things she missed were the intimate moments with Castle, either eating one of the fantastic breakfasts he made or in an exclusive restaurant she could never afford. _Rick, I miss you so badly. Why the hell did I do what I did? _Kate managed to hold back her tears, but barely.

It must have shown in her face, because the waitress was just delivering food and said, "What's the matter, honey, guy trouble?" Kate looked up into the sympathetic eyes of woman a few years older than Kate. "What makes you say that?"

"I've been down that road a few times myself and I know what it looks like."

"Am I that obvious?" Kate asked

"I don't know about all the time, but you were a moment ago. Is it that guy?" she asked, gesturing at the couple.

Kate managed a small smile. "No it's not, although he looks a lot like him."

The waitress smiled in return. "Look I don't know you, you don't know me. But sometimes it helps to talk to a complete stranger. I have my break in five minutes. May I join you?"

Kate automatically started to refuse but changed her mind. She needed to talk to a woman and Lanie was mad at her.

"Sure why not? It can't hurt anything and it might help." Kate said.

The waitress came back with her own cup of coffee and sat down. "Hi, I'm Bobbi, now what's the matter. What did the bum do to you?"

Kate looked at Bobbi then down at her plate. "I'm Kate and it's not what he did to me, it's what I did to him I think I made the worst mistake of my life and he didn't deserve any of it."

"Oh come on Kate, it can't be that bad, you didn't kill him, did you?"

Kate shook her head. "No, I didn't kill him. What I did was worse. I changed a happy, laughing, loving man into something cold, hard and relentless. It could get him killed."

"Can you do anything about it?" Bobbi asked.

Kate's head came up. "Damn right I can, I've already started!"

Bobbi smiled. "You go girl!"

Feeling energized, Kate left the restaurant after finishing her breakfast and leaving a nice tip for Bobbi.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Kate checked with Esposito and Ryan. They were taking turns keeping an eye on Castle.

She no sooner hung up than her phone rang again. It was Hunt. He asked her to wait at the motel.

He had something for her. When he arrived he handed her a black attaché case.

"It's a tracker, Kate. Get one of the bugs on Rick's SUV. He shouldn't be expecting it at this point. We can't afford for him to slip away." Hunt gave Kate a quick hug. "We'll get through this Kate. When this is over, I want him out of the game altogether. No more reserve, nothing to do with the agency at all. He can stay in MI if he wants to but not as a field officer. I trust enough in your love to do that. Despite what it may feel like at the moment, I know that Rick loves you. When he trusts you again, he'll do anything for you."

Kate looked up at Hunt, smiled the first real, warm smile she had in days, kissed his cheek and said, "Thank you for believing in me. Not only does Rick look a lot like you, it's amazing how much he is like you."

Hunt left and Kate programmed the tracker and called Esposito to meet her in the parking lot in five minutes. They got into the Mustang and drove to where Ryan was waiting. A sunscreen blocked the windshield of the Escape and the side windows were tinted dark enough that no one could see in easily.

Kate and Esposito climbed into the Escape. "Has there been any movement?" Kate asked.

Ryan shook his head. "Nothing significant," he replied. "He walked across the street to that burger joint bought some food and came back."

Kate looked across at the restaurant sign which read: _Randy's Burger Bonanza! Nothing but burgers, sides and drinks. Try our Double Chili Cheeseburger on a Pretzel bun topped with slabs of bacon and grilled onions_.

Kate sighed in amused exasperation. "One thing hasn't changed. Rick will still eat ridiculous things for breakfast, like that Grease burger."

"What's wrong with that?" Esposito said. "I could go for one of those things right about now."

Kate rolled her eyes. "And you'd order onion rings to go with it!"

Esposito grinned. "Hey, that's a great idea, I'll be back in ten. Want one, Ryan?"

"Sure, and add a chocolate shake, will you?"

Kate rolled her eyes for a second time and snorted. "Men and their stomachs!"

Kate looked at Ryan. "Go plant that bug. I'll keep watch from here."

Ryan got out of the car and walked across the street, carrying a newspaper in his hand.

As he passed behind the Chevy he dropped the newspaper and while retrieving it, planted the bug up inside the rear bumper. He quickly crossed back. "All done," he said with a smile.

As soon as Esposito got back with the burgers, Kate said, "You two take off. I'll watch for a while. I wouldn't want to lose my breakfast watching you eat those things."

Ryan and Esposito took off in the Mustang and Kate settled down to watch.

Even men dedicated to their mission have to relax sometime. Castle came out of his room and headed to the motel's large pool. The Navaho Clouds was decorated, as much as possible, in a pseudo-pueblo style, built in a large squared "u" pattern. The pool was at the front of the right leg, irregular in shape and landscaped to look like a natural pond. A large patio and barbecue area was in front of the left leg.

Castle walked over to one of the chaise lounges and lay down to soak up some of the early morning sun. It was just warm enough to be comfortable. He was wearing only a tight pair of trunks, flip flops and sunglasses. Unlike the pre- wreckage Castle he was oblivious of the admiring stares of the several young women around the pool.

Lowering her head to fix her coffee the way she liked it, Kate had missed Castle's emergence.

A long half hour passed. _"What's with Rick? He never stays still this long."_ The Castle she knew had always been in motion. Doing something, touching something, half the time things he wasn't supposed to touch. Something drew her attention to the pool area. Castle had moved to the diving board and was stretching to limber up.

Kate stared through the binoculars. The video hadn't done him justice. The muscles rippled under his smooth tanned skin. His shoulders had never seemed so broad. Something a whole lot like lust flowed through her body. She watched as he made a clean racing dive into the pool, swam the length of the pool and back, climbed out and repeated the performance. He swam around the pool, then relaxed and floated around on his back.

Kate's jealousy began to simmer. She wasn't the only one watching him. A couple of the women around the pool had openly predatory looks on their faces. Even through her jealousy, Kate couldn't blame them _too _much. He wasn't a cute male model or anything of a boy anymore, but a mature, clean limbed man. Kate was getting hot just watching him. Her desire was also making her angry, angry with herself but suddenly angry with him too. _I was stupid, Rick, but so were you. Why didn't you come after me? It's not that far from New York to Washington!"_

She simmered down after a few minutes, realizing that if he had followed her, it would have left things as they were before with everything just as she wanted without consideration for Rick's feelings, and she wouldn't have the respect for his strength that she now had.

Kate sat up a little higher and managed a chuckle. _If he's going to put on a show I might as well enjoy it! _She thought. What made it even better for her was that he was so far into his routine that he wasn't even conscious of his audience. The old Castle would have been preening for the girls.

Kate was disappointed when he abruptly ended his routine and went inside. She wasn't alone in that.

Castle sat in his room, reading the local paper. He was wound too tight and he knew it.

He had to do something to relax or he'd snap and getting drunk wasn't the answer. Neither was a night of meaningless sex with some hot babe. He knew that full well from his playboy day's pre Kate. He had a string of the hottest women in New York, many of them celebrities in the clubs and in their beds, sometimes three or four times a week.

He was reading the entertainment section when he saw the ad.

_COWBOY NIGHT AT THE CACTUS CANYON CLUB. Enjoy a night of Music, Dancing and Karaoke. Can you be Roy Rogers or Dale Evans tonight? The Gambler or Marshal Earp? Prizes for costumes. Come early and enjoy our fine steaks and burgers or our sizzling Buffalo wings._

A flash of the old flamboyant Castle flared into life. _Why the hell not? I want to enjoy myself. Just because Beckett doesn't want me doesn't mean somebody else might not enjoy my company even if it's just for a couple of hours. This far away from New York, in a dark club nobody is likely to recognize me._

Castle chuckled to himself. _I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do it right. Western store, here I come._

Kate perked up as she saw Rick pull out of the motel and head downtown; she turned on the tracker and followed at a discreet distance. The tracker worked perfectly. Castle pulled into a shopping mall.

Kate waited a few minutes after Castle entered then followed him in. She saw him enter a shop called _The Western Man. _As if someone had planned it, she spotted an ice cream shop almost across from the clothier. Her eyes lit up. When Kate was upset she ate chocolate. Candy or ice cream either was fine. She took her time scanning their large selection board and ordered a bowl of Double Dutch Chocolate with fresh strawberries, whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles. She also ordered an iced mocha.

Kate settled back to enjoy her treat. She was so engrossed in licking the last bit off her spoon, that she almost missed Castle coming out of the shop. He was carrying two large boxes and three bags. She waited until he'd had time to get in his SUV and leave before she left the mall.

The tracker told Kate that he'd gone straight back to his motel. Esposito relieved her, and she went back to the motel for a late lunch and to relax.

Castle took his purchases out of the boxes and bags, laying them out to decide if he liked the effect. He'd bought a white silk western shirt with black piping around the yoke and cuffs, extending up the sleeves to outline the cuff snaps. The piping also outlined the snaps of the shirt closure. The snaps were pearlescent black. The black western cut slacks and frock coat were lightweight wool.

The boots were gleaming black Luchese hand made. A black Stetson, red scarf, and belt with a western buckle completed the outfit. Castle grinned at the outfit. It was flashy as hell and fulfilled every cowboy fantasy he'd ever had. He was going to cut loose tonight.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Ryan was watching as Castle came out of the motel. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head at the sight. It was definitely Castle, but not one he could ever have imagined in his wildest dreams.

Ryan keyed the radio. "White Queen from White Queen's Pawn, White Queen's Rook is on the move, go to cell, ASAP." His phone rang not even ten seconds later. He answered it. "Ryan."

"What's up, Ryan?" Kate asked.

"Our boy's on the move and I don't know what the hell he's up to. He's dressed in cowboy clothes and looks like he's in one of those old cowboy movies. I'm following now.

Kate was thankful that she'd just showered and cleaned up. She looked at her watch_. It wasn't quite six o'clock so Castle must be going out for dinner, but why was he dressed like that?_ she thought. It was only a few minutes later that her phone rang.

"He's going into a country western club called the _Cactus Canyon Club,"_ Ryan said. "It has a big banner advertising singing cowboy night. Everybody going in is dressed as cowboys or cowgirls."

"Even for him, that's kind of strange," Kate said. "Give me an hour, and I'll meet you at the club."

She drove to the mall and went to the same shop Castle had used. A salesman came up to her.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

Kate smiled and said, "Do you carry women's clothes?"

The man said, "Yes we do, we carry a full line of ladies' western wear. Let me get Maria to help you."

The way the man said it told Kate that he would have been much more interested in helping Rick than her.

An attractive Hispanic woman came over. "Are you looking for something to wear to the Cactus Canyon tonight?"

Surprised, Kate said, "Yes I am, how did you know?"

The woman laughed. "Most of the people coming in today have been. I am, as soon as I get off."

"I'm from New York, Maria, so I could really use your help. I wouldn't have any idea what to wear." Kate looked a little crestfallen at the admission.

The Latina smiled and said, "I'd love to help, and my name is actually Francesca. That racist maracon thinks all Latinas are named Maria or Guadalupe. On top of that, he's condescending to all women. The bastard owns the store and I really need the job or I'd slap him silly!"

Kate snickered. "I know the type. I deal with them every day. I agree with you, only you'd have to slap him sillier!"

Francesca looked Kate up and down and said, "I'd say that you usually go for tailored slacks and a blazer or fancy jeans and a good blouse, right?"

Kate frowned slightly. "You're right. What told you that?"

"You're a cop or something like it. You give off a cop vibe."

"You've had trouble with the law?" Kate asked.

Francesca shook her head. "Not me but all three of my brothers have. Nothing ever really serious but several times each."

"Yeah, I'm a cop." Kate admitted. "Federal Agent actually. Since you know that, did you notice a customer, a man, big guy, would have been here in the early afternoon? He probably bought a complete outfit. Knowing him, it would all be top of the line."

Francesca grinned. "I noticed him. So did every other woman in the store. That damned maracon was practically drooling over him, that guy was so hot." Her eyebrows furrowed. "He's not a bad guy is he? Is he the reason you're here?"

"He's not a bad guy, Francesca, just the opposite, but I need to keep track of him and I don't want him to notice me," Kate said.

"Is he another cop? I didn't think much of it at the time but now that I think back on it, he was strapped!"

Kate looked at Francesca and said, "He's not a cop, but seriously, don't ask any more questions."

Francesca cocked an eyebrow. "If you don't want him to notice you, we'll go opposite to your normal style. Come on."

They selected an aqua women's western shirt with pearlescent snaps and silver embroidery on the yoke and sleeves. A matching aqua flared skirt that ended just above the knee, silver-gray cowgirl boots, a silver-gray scarf, and a silver Concho belt completed the outfit.

Kate tried it on and surprised herself. "I love the look!" she said.

Kate paid for the purchases. Her American Express card was taking some pretty heavy hits this trip but she felt that the results would be worth it.

Kate looked at her watch. It was almost 7:30. "I've got to get out of here!" Kate exclaimed.

"Wait a minute," Francesca said. "I'm meeting two girlfriends at the club. It really won't start hopping till nine. I could ride out with you. That would make you part of a group, less noticeable. There's a wig shop right across from us. Pick up a long black wig, darken your makeup and you'll fit right in."

Kate looked at Francesca quizzically. "Those are great ideas, but why do you want to do this?"

Francesca grinned. "It sounds like an adventure, and no one's in danger, are they?"

"Probably not tonight," Kate said.

"Let's do it. I've got to go to my apartment and change. I'll meet you at your motel at 8:30."

Back at her motel, Kate called Esposito. "Listen, Esposito, Rick's acting very strange. He's all dressed up like a singing cowboy and has gone to a club. I'm going in. I've got a pretty effective disguise. I want you to back me. You've already got the hat and boots. Do you think that you could pick up a dressy western shirt? A couple of the big chain stores are still open. I'll pay you back."

Esposito thought for a moment, and then said, "Okay I'll do it. I could use some fun."

Kate breathed a sigh of relief, "Thanks, Esposito, the place is called _The Cactus Canyon Club._ Get directions from where you are. Just be careful when you get there. I don't want Castle to notice you."

"You said that you'll have a disguise, Beckett. How will I recognize you?" Esposito asked.

Kate chuckled. "I'll be dressed like a cowgirl, all in aqua. I'll be wearing a long black wig and sitting with three other women."

Francesca arrived at Kate's motel precisely at 8:30. She wore a scarlet satin blouse, form fitting red jeans and black cowgirl boots.

Kate opened the door to Francesca's knock. "Wow, Kate, you look fantastic!" Francesca said.

Kate smiled, twirled and said, "So do you, hot enough to burn a few guy's fingers!"

"I don't want to burn their fingers. I want to light their fires!" Francesca replied.

Kate laughed. "I think you'll have no trouble doing that!"

"Do you speak Spanish, Kate?"

"Yes I do, but I'm from New York, so it's Puerto Rican style."

"Good enough. For tonight, you're Kati and I'm Pancha."

When they arrived at the club, Kate had to turn the Mustang over to valet parking, as the parking lot was jammed. Two Latinas were waiting for them. Both were pretty, one dressed muck like Francesca but in blue, the other in a long almost flamenco style dress.

"Gloria, Ruby, this is Kati," Francesca said, "a new friend."

The three women exchanged smiles and greetings. Two men stood at the door checking ID's and the women's purses. They were dressed like movie gun fighters but the sheriff style badges read Security. When they opened Kate's purse, they were staring at the Federal Agent's badge. They passed her in without a word.

Inside the crowded club, it was noisy and lively but thankfully, not smoky. There were two bands alternating country-western, folk rock, rock and roll and pop.

The four women found a table that four guys graciously vacated for them. A number of couples were dancing western swing. Kate scanned the room, looking for Castle. She spotted him on the floor, dancing with a statuesque blonde. Castle had taken Kate dancing a few times and she knew that he was a good dancer, _but where did he learn to do western swing?_ That song ended and the blonde said something to Castle that made him throw back his head and laugh.

He escorted the woman back to her table then went to another table and sat down with a slender raven haired woman who was obviously waiting for him. She looked rather piqued and said something that made him first look surprised then chuckle. Castle took a long pull at his drink and the woman said something else to him. He nodded and they got up to dance to a real oldie called _The Tennessee Waltz. _The singer on the stage was quite good and put a lot of pathos into the song.

Kate was trying hard to be detached and control her emotions but not having much success.

The green eyed monster was loose, and Kate was doing a slow burn. She knew that it was irrational and the situation her own fault but she couldn't help herself. _"You're supposed to be dancing with me, damn it, with me!" _she thought. The words to the song made it much worse for her.

_I was dancin' with my darlin' To the Tennessee Waltz When an old friend I happened to see  
I introduced her to my loved one And while they were dancin'  
My friend stole my sweetheart from me_

I remember the night and the Tennessee Waltz Now I know just how much I have lost Yes, I lost my little darlin' The night they were playing  
The beautiful Tennessee Waltz


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Three hours earlier:

Castle had come into the club around six o'clock to have a leisurely meal. He'd ordered a porterhouse steak, onion rings, a salad and coffee. It might be primarily a club, but its kitchen was first rate. For desert he'd ordered cheesecake and an Irish coffee.

The tables varied between couples tables and four person tables with a few six seat booths.

Castle had just finished eating and was sipping his Irish coffee, when a tall, slender, pretty woman approached his table. "Tables will be at a premium tonight," she said. "If you're not waiting for anyone, may I join you?" She spoke with a soft southern drawl.

Rick rose and pulled out her chair. "Perhaps I was waiting for you without knowing it," he said with a smile.

The woman raised an elegant eyebrow. "Oh my, a gallant and a gentleman," she said as she sat down. "I'm Miranda Cole."

"I'm Jamison Rook, Jamie or Jim if you prefer. Just don't call me Mr. Rook."

The woman had a soft, silvery laugh. "Small chance of that, I think. I've never seen you in here before, Jamie. Are you new to the area?"

Rick smiled and said, "I am new to the area but I'll only be here a week or ten days. I'm here on a kind of business trip, research you might say. Oh, excuse my manners. May I offer you a drink?"

Miranda looked at the handsome, smiling man and felt a small flutter. "Yes, please, an Irish coffee just like yours would be lovely." Rick signaled the waiter.

When the coffee was delivered Miranda took a sip, cocked her head and said, "Somehow, you don't seem like the singing cowboy type."

Rick replied, "Actually I'm a writer. I saw the club's ad and thought it would be fun to indulge my inner cowboy."

"Would I have read anything you wrote?" Miranda asked.

"Do you read murder mysteries?" Rick asked.

"Not really, a few of the old Agatha Christies, but nothing recent."

Rick said, "Then you wouldn't have read anything I've written. My work doesn't reach any great intellectual levels but I've made a good living at it."

Rick studied the woman. She wasn't in costume, wearing a printed lavender silk blouse, gray dress slacks and high heels. Her dark, silky hair framed a delicately featured oval face with large expressive brown eyes. His wide experience with many types of women made it easy to categorize most women, ranging from band groupies and fan girls to cougars on the hunt to high end call girls. This woman seemed to be just a professional woman out for a night of entertainment.

"What do you do to make a living, Miranda?" Rick asked.

"I'm a realtor. I just opened a new office here in Santa Fe. I love it here in the southwest. I'm originally from the Tidewater area of Virginia." They chatted for a while, each finding the other interesting and a good conversationalist. A club staffer came over and said, "Excuse me, sir and madam, but the entertainment is about to start. There is a ten dollar per person cover charge and a two drink minimum."

Rick took out his wallet and handed the man a fifty dollar bill, waving off the change.

Miranda protested. "I can pay my own way."

"I'm sure that you can, but why bother if you don't have to? I enjoy doing it, and I assure you that I can afford it," Rick said, giving her one of his megawatt smiles.

Miranda smiled back, a little coyly. "In that case, thank you, Jamie. I gratefully accept."

A few minutes later the music started and Rick asked Miranda to dance.

The first song was a slow country ballad. Miranda relished the feel of a strong man's arms around her. She had originally only come to listen to the music, a night of casual entertainment, but that was rapidly changing. There was something about this man that was so different from the men she usually met. They took a break after three dances and returned to their table.

Miranda put a hand on Rick's. "I hope that you don't think that I'm too forward, but I have to ask, is there anyone in your life, someone you love?"

"My daughter and my mother, they share my loft in New York."

"No significant other?"

"No, there isn't. There was a while back but she valued her career above all else."

"Oh Jamie, I'm so sorry," Miranda said as she squeezed Rick's hand.

"There's no reason for you to be sorry, as I said it was a while ago. Since you opened the subject, what about you, Miranda?" Rick asked.

She tilted her head slightly. "That's a fair question, Jamie. I'm a divorcee. No significant other. I've dated, but no one special."

At that point, the statuesque blonde appeared and said, "Since you're not using him at the moment, can I borrow him for one dance?" She didn't wait for an answer but grabbed Rick's hand and pulled him to his feet. "Come on, handsome."

He only danced one dance with the blonde, complying with her mostly out of sheer surprise at her audacity. She'd made one comment that hit him as extremely funny and he'd reacted, but then insisted on returning to Miranda.

Rick sat down and Miranda said, "That was a little against the rules around here, you're not supposed to hit on a guy if he's obviously with someone."

Rick raised an eyebrow. "That's a rule I never heard of."

Miranda gave him a cheeky grin. "Probably because I just made it up."

Rick chuckled and said. "I guess I'll have to make up for breaking the rules. May I have this dance?"

Miranda moved into Rick's arms and molded her body to his, resting her head on his shoulder.

At their table, Francesca said, "That's him, the one in black and red, the one you're tracking, isn't it."

In a tight voice Kate said, "Yes, it is."

Francesca looked Kate right in the eyes. "Kati, for a cop, you're a terrible liar. You may be tracking him for a case but it's more than that, isn't it? I can see it your face, the way you're watching him. If looks could kill, that woman would be lying on the floor. He's your guy or he was your guy and you want him back."

Kate didn't reply, she was too lost in her own thoughts. _Am I too late? Are you over me Rick? Please don't be over me, over us. Don't go home with her tonight. I can't stand the thought of you in someone else's bed._

Francesca went on. "He's strapped and not worried about it. You said that he's a good guy and not a cop. He's a spook isn't he, CIA?

Kate snapped out of her reverie. "Francesca, I told you not to ask questions, it's dangerous!"

Despite her best efforts Kate was getting closer and closer to losing her temper. The woman kept touching Castle in the little ways a woman does, trying to solidify a connection.

Just as Kate was about to lose it, Esposito stopped at her table. "Hey, Chica, want to dance?"

Kate looked up. Esposito wore Levi's, a Levi's trucker jacket, a purple western shirt, a cowboy hat and boots. She stood up and accepted, glad of the distraction. They moved to a dark corner of the floor. Esposito looked seriously at Beckett's face. "Be careful, Beckett, people develop a sixth sense if they're being observed, and Castle has had lots of training. Your emotions were written all over your face, just now. After this dance, step outside and get some fresh air. I don't want you to lose it and cause a scene in there."

Kate nodded. "You're right, Esposito. I need to cool down. But damn it, it's never hit me like this before. I want to claw her eyes out." She blushed. "I want to drag Rick out and jump his bones in the backseat of the Mustang!"

The last admittance was so unlike Kate that the last of Esposito's doubts vanished. "Go outside, Kate, and cool off. I'll keep an eye on Castle."

Kate stayed outside for about ten minutes until she had her emotions under control. She walked back in and sat down. Esposito winked at her and nodded.

Miranda said, "Is there someone you weren't telling me about, Jamie?"

"No, not that I know of, why?"

"Because there's a Hispanic girl over there that keeps shooting daggers at me."

Rick shrugged. "I don't know any Hispanic women and I haven't been doing any book signings or tours here or in Arizona, and I doubt that fan girls would follow me from New York, so she must be looking at someone near us. You haven't been stealing anyone's boyfriends, have you?"

Miranda looked mildly outraged. "I wouldn't do that!"

"Just kidding, Miranda. Seriously, it simply must be a coincidence."

An announcer came on the stage. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the costume contest is about to begin. The rules are simple. We will parade the contestants across the stage. Ladies only will judge the Gentlemen and vice versa. It will be by simple applause. We will narrow it down to first, second, and third. First prize in each category is a $150 gift card, second is $100. Third is $50. Let's get started. Just give us your first name." The ladies started it. Each woman gave her name then crossed the stage, came back and pirouetted once. There were quite a few contestants, the costumes ranging from prim school teachers to outrageously risqué dance hall girls.

Finally three were called back. The announcer said, "Gentlemen, we have Connie as Annie Oakley, Danielle as the Rancher's Daughter, and Jennifer as the Madam."

Miranda poked Rick in the ribs. "Come on Jamie, get up there. You're a natural." Rick protested. "I didn't come here to compete, just to enjoy the theme."

Miranda put on a fake pout. "You really wouldn't want to disappoint a lady, would you?"

_Oh, Hell, why not. It's just for laughs anyway. Miranda's been sweet. I'll indulge her,_ Rick thought.

Rick went up and as he stepped on the stage he said, "I'm Jamie, haven't really thought of a theme."

Miranda called out, "Gentleman Jim." Several other women caught up the chant.

The MC laughed. "Gentleman Jim it is."

The men's costumes were as varied as the women's. There were cowboys, buffalo hunters, gamblers, outlaws, and even a cavalry officer.

The MC said, "Ladies, we have for your consideration: Gary as the Gambler, Jack as wild Bill and Jamie as Gentleman Jim. Let's hear it, ladies." Clapping, whistling, and cat calls filled the air.

"Now that we have the results, each of our prize winners will come up and pose as individuals and as couple for pictures. As the finale to our costume contest, the winners will dance one dance as couples.

"Our third place winners are Jennifer and Gary. In second place, Connie and Jack, first place to Danielle and Jamie." They all posed for the pictures and left the stage. The MC said that for those who would like them, 8x10 souvenir photographs would be available for ten dollars per print. Pictures would be of individuals, couples and the dance. Miranda decided she wanted one of Rick and purchased one as soon as they were available.

Rick was starting off the dance floor when a large belligerent man stepped in his way. He wasn't drunk, per se, but had enough liquor in him to hunt trouble.

"Look, dude, around here we don't much care for strangers coming in making off with the girls and the money. I'm going to kick your ass!" He swung a roundhouse punch at Rick. It never connected. Rick moved too fast for most people to track what happened. His left hand flashed out in a hard edged strike against the side of the trouble maker's neck, followed by s flying kick to the jaw. The fool crashed to the floor. Rick crouched in a combat stance, then straightened.

All of the past three months of pain, frustration and anger boiled to the surface. Rick's eyes flashed like blue fire. His cold, tight voice rang in the now silent room. "I came in here for a little fun and relaxation. Not looking for trouble. But apparently some of you hayseed imitation cowboys are too stupid to leave a sleeping dog lie. If dumb ass on the floor has any buddies, bring it on! No? All right, just leave me alone but I'm not leaving here until I'm good and ready!"

An old man standing near the bar, let out a long laugh, and said, "Thought you were kicking a dog, didn't you. You roused a wolf!"

At first, Kate was appalled at the rapid chain of events but then the primal female took over and she was thrilled at the hidden warrior that emerged.

At the edge of the crowd, Esposito stifled a laugh. _The look on your face was priceless Kate. Surprised the Hell out of you, didn't he. Your nine year old on a sugar rush turned out to be a first class fighting man. I'm proud of you, bro, _he thought.

Rick stalked back to the table, sat down and ordered a tall scotch and soda.

Miranda, her eyes shining, said, "If you really are a writer Jamie, who do you write for, James Bond? I really don't want to stay for the karaoke. Jamie, will you see me home?"

Rick said, "I'll walk you to your car, Miranda, but going home with you is not a good idea. You've been a wonderful companion but I'm carrying around too much baggage right now. And if I went home with you, in the mood I'm in now I'd hurt you. Not physically of course but I would just be using you for sex and I despise men who do that."

Kate watched them leave, with her heart in her mouth, and sighed with relief when Rick walked back in.

_Tomorrow, I'm going to see him tomorrow and I'm going to fix us. I'll be damned if I let it go any longer, _she thought.

Francesca leaned over to Kate and whispered, "You said not to ask questions. This isn't a question. Your man's an agent of some kind." Kate eyed her but said nothing.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Kate slept in late the next morning, trusting that Ryan would inform her if anything happened. She went back to the same restaurant, this time just ordering pancakes and coffee.

Bobbi stopped by the table. "Feeling better this morning Kate?"

Kate smiled up at her. "Yes I am. I have my plan in place and I'm going to fix things today!"

"Today?" Bobbi asked incredulously.

Kate's open smile cheered Bobbi. "Yes, today. He's here in town and I'm going to see him. I'm going to repair all the damage I did, because I can't bear the thought of my life without him in it."

After breakfast Kate checked in with task force command. They said to come in later and pick up her briefing. It would be on a one use CD. Individual personal, detailed briefings were not necessary at this point.

She then went shopping. She was going to hit Rick with everything she had. She had no intention of leaving his room anytime tonight, except going out for dinner. Her first stop was at a Victoria's Secret where she bought a deep purple negligee a matching push-up bra and bikini panties. Next she located an upscale boutique and bought a purple silk blouse with a plunging neckline and a black pencil skirt. She completed her spree with a pair of strappy sling-backs.

_This has to work. My bank account is becoming seriously depleted,_ she thought.

When Kate got back to her motel, she checked with Ryan.

"He went out for his morning run then went to a local gym to work out. Hit the range for about an hour and he bought some lunch. He's in his room now," Ryan reported.

One of the things Kate really liked about her room was that it had a full tub. She ran a bath, added her favorite bubbles and bath oils and lay back to soak.

She shampooed her hair, rinsed, dried, and styled it, and then took plenty of time to carefully apply her make-up and apply the perfume that Rick loved.

She dressed and checked her watch. Four o'clock. It was time. Early enough that they could have their talk and still have time for dinner, late enough that he probably wouldn't be heading out.

She called Esposito and told him to go on back to the motel, she was taking over shadowing Castle.

A brisk breeze had come up, so Kate donned a light outer coat. She parked the Mustang and started getting butterflies in her stomach as she approached Rick's door. Her face flushed as she knocked.

"Who's there?" she heard Rick growl.

"Rick. It's me, Kate. Please open the door. I need to talk with you." There was a moment's pause, and then he spoke, his voice tight.

"Go away Beckett. I don't want to talk to you."

"Rick, either you open that door and let me in or I'll pound on it and make a hell of a scene out here."

Reluctantly, Castle opened the door. "What do you want Beckett? I can't play your mind games any longer."

She pushed past him, striding into his room and turning to face him, her arms crossed. "I've got a lot to say and I'm not leaving until I say it."

He looked at her coldly and said, "What if I don't want to hear it?"

She stepped forward, put out her hand and touched his cheek. He recoiled slightly, but she followed, keeping her hand on his face. "Rick, if you can look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me anymore, I'll leave. It will break my heart but I'll leave. If you can't do that, then sit and hear me out."

He dropped his eyes, and then raised them. There was a maelstrom of emotion there, anger and fear and pain and love chasing themselves around the cerulean depths of his eyes. "Kate, I…. I can't do that."

She smiled and said, "I didn't think you could, because, despite how it may seem, I love you. More than that, I'm in love with you. I never knew how much until I stepped off that plane and you weren't there."

She took off her coat and tossed it onto a chair. He raised his eyebrows at her ensemble, failing to hide the flare of heat in his eyes, but otherwise made no move towards her. She clasped her hands in front of her and took a deep breath.

"Will you please hear me out all the way before you say anything?"

Castle hesitated long enough for Kate's anxiety level to hit the ceiling, his eyes searching hers intently. Finally, almost grudgingly, he nodded. Kate let out a breath of relief. He might not have been altogether willing, but he would listen.

Kate opened her mouth and froze. Her carefully rehearsed speech flew out of her head, and she simply stared at Castle, struggling for the words to make him understand, to ask him to forgive. Castle raised one eyebrow.

"Well?"

"I'm an idiot," Kate blurted out. Castle raised both eyebrows this time, but kept silent. This was Kate's explanation, and though Castle was determined not to just accept what she said and open his arms to her, he was interested in hearing her. Those words, however, he hadn't anticipated. He folded his arms.

"I'm not an idiot because I was interested in the job or even that I accepted it," Kate began. Castle stiffened and started to turn away. Kate grabbed his arm, turning him back to her.

"Rick, please. I'm trying to apologize. You and I both know the job was a great opportunity, something that I've thought about a lot before. It was a great career move, even you have to admit that. But the way I handled it wasn't great." She sighed, her eyes dropping to her hand resting on Castle's arm. "I was an idiot because I thought it was about me doing something for myself. I thought I needed to see where it went or I would feel something was missing in our relationship."

She turned away to pace, finally looking at Castle again. She bit her lip. "I forgot that it _was_ about our relationship. I've never been in a relationship like ours, Rick, something so deep. I've never had my best friend as my boyfriend. I…I messed up. I shouldn't have taken the interview or accepted the job without talking to you, without thinking about what it meant for _us_. We could've decided together that it was something I should do, and we could've made a plan for working out how to handle long distance. Or I could've realized that what I would give up for it wasn't worth it."

She paused to take in a shaky breath. "The more I worked as an agent, the more I realized how much I missed being a cop. To be an agent there is about politics, not about the victims or justice or putting the bad guys away. And I missed seeing everyone, Espo and Ryan, Alexis and Martha, even Gates. And…you. _Especially_ you. And then when I heard about what you were doing, I knew what had to be done." She shrugged her shoulders. "I quit and came to find you."

Castle blinked in shock. She'd…quit? Just like that? And if he was getting what she was saying, then she'd quit…for _him_, and everything in her life that she'd missed. He'd never imagined Kate Beckett, stubborn and determined, leaving what she'd thought she really wanted. But that was the ticket, wasn't it? What she _thought_ she really wanted. He didn't know just yet what his reaction was going to be, but he could feel his shell of anger softening towards her, just a little.

"So it's not Agent Beckett anymore?"

She made a face. "It's not, but I have to play one for a last-minute thing. But as soon as it's done, I'm Detective Beckett again." She gazed at him thoughtfully. "Detective Beckett's a better person than Agent Beckett was. Detective Beckett gets justice for her victims and does her utmost to put the bad guys away. Detective Beckett has loyal friends and loves the little pizza place near the entrance to Central Park." She moved closer to Castle. "And Detective Beckett has a wonderful man in her life who's worth more than any job."

Her eyes searched Castle's, and he returned the gaze steadily. Kate's face fell slightly when he didn't say anything, and she wrapped her arms around herself. "Well, she had one at any rate. Whether or not she does now…well, that's up to you."

She stepped even closer and held out her hand. Castle paused for a long moment, staring down at her familiar, slightly callused hand. He wanted to believe what she was saying, but she'd hurt him so badly…He looked back up at her face, but his hand remained stubbornly by his side. Kate's face fell, and she dropped her head. He heard her take a slow, hitching breath, and then she raised her eyes to his again. He was shocked at the tears standing in her eyes, but even more so by the hand that she had never dropped and now raised even higher towards him. He found himself wondering what his daughter would say about what Kate had said to him, and almost wanted to laugh at the image in his head of Alexis, hand on her hip, saying, 'Just listen, Dad! You owe her that for the shenanigans she's put up with from you over the years!" He let out a breath and gently took her hand.

Kate clasped his hand tightly, tears welling in her eyes. She refused to let them fall. She was not finished until he accepted her apology and her love. She was fairly sure about the love thing, but getting him to accept and forgive…that was another story. She looked up at him, her eyes mapping the planes of his face, before she continued.

"Rick, I know I was unfair. I know this has been hard on you. When you proposed and I couldn't think of what to say, I know you thought I was rejecting you. But that's not it, Rick, not at all! I just couldn't believe that you weren't breaking up with me, and that _you_ would actually want to marry _me_, given our less than stellar track record. Granted, I'm no deep-fried Twinkie, so there is that..."

Castle smiled at that, and Kate flashed a quick grin, but it faded as she got back to the problem at hand. "I, well, I just…" She sighed. "Rick, I wanted to scream out 'Yes!' from the rooftops, but I knew you were still angry that I didn't tell you about the job before, and I knew how badly _I'd _been behaving…" She reached for Castle's other hand and studied their entwined fingers for a long moment before she looked back up at him again.

"If the offer still stands, then I have a definite and very positive answer," she said softly. "I love you more than anything in this world, and it's killing me to have this distance between us. So tell me, Rick, can you possibly forgive me? Can you accept my apology that I screwed up and that I'm so infinitely sorry? Do you still want to marry me?"

Castle's fingers tightened on hers as he stared into her eyes for several long moments. For once, locked in her own emotional turmoil, Kate couldn't read him. Finally he let out a breath and said, "Well, Kate, I have answers to your questions."


	13. Chapter 13

_Disclaimer: Make sure you have some fans ready. This chapter may get a little steamy at the end._

**Chapter 13**

He hesitated, looking into her beautiful hazel eyes, now brimming with unshed tears. Her body was trembling as she held her breath, awaiting his answer. His eyes roamed her face. Some small part of him still wanted to hurt her as he'd been hurt, but he couldn't do it. She was pleading with him to love her. Pleading was something that Beckett never did, and it had always killed him to see her hurting.

He sighed and let go of her hands, and Kate's heart plummeted to her feet. She whirled around and wrapped her arms around herself, desperately willing the tears to not fall, and wondered how she was supposed to rebuild the ruin her life would be without Castle in it.

But before she could take more than two steps away, she felt Castle's hand on her arm. He turned her around and gently gripped her shoulders. One finger lifted her chin until her eyes met his. He studied her solemnly and carefully for several long moments. Kate could barely breathe.

Then, like a ray of sun breaking through stormy clouds, that old familiar smile that she'd missed so terribly spread across his face. In a gentle voice he said, "Yes, Kate, I forgive you. I accept your apology, and yes, I still want to marry you." At his first yes the dam broke and Kate's tears spilled out. She let out the breath she'd been holding and smiled up at him, starting to reach for him, but he but his hand up. She stopped, confused, but Castle reached for her hand and dropped a kiss on her fingers. He spoke again.

"I never stopped loving you, and I never stopped wanting you. But I am a different man, in some ways, than I used to be. If we are together, if you really want our always, you have to be completely open and honest with me. No more hiding what you feel. No more unilateral decisions on anything that affects both of us. No more damn walls."

She waited until he finished and squeezed his hand, nodding, and then threw her arms around his neck. His hands drifted to her waist as she raised her head and kissed him, a soft, tremulous, healing kiss. Opening her eyes she gazed into his.

"Rick, I can't promise there won't be problems, but we can work through them if you love me as much as I love you. I'm a difficult, stubborn woman. I know that, but I do promise that I'll never run again, I'll never betray your trust and right now, all my walls are down. I'll probably rebuild them but with our family inside them. Rick, please, ask me again."

Rick smiled and took her fully into his arms. "Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?"

Her shining eyes answered him as much as her words. "Yes, my love, I will marry you, as soon as we can with everyone there."

She pulled away from him and said, "Rick, I have one more question. Where is the ring you showed me?"

He shrugged. "Oh, that. Well, I pawned it. Got a great deal."

"Castle!"

At her outraged exclamation he smirked and said, "Relax, Kate. It's in my briefcase. I've kept it with me." She smiled and bit her lip.

"Can I have it now? Please?"

Rick got the ring and slipped it on her finger. Then they kissed again. It started out as simply an affirmation of their love, but quickly turned into something much more passionate. Her mouth opened under his and their tongues began dueling for dominance.

Finally, needing to catch her breath, Kate broke the kiss. Almost panting, she said, "Oh, Rick, I've missed you so much. I need you more than anything, but not hurried and frenzied like this. I want some romance tonight. I want to take you out for a romantic dinner. Then we come back here for some hot, mind-blowing make-up sex. I want to wake up in your arms tomorrow morning. Tonight will be all about rebuilding our love." Castle grinned and leaned forward to kiss her again, but she leaned back with her hands on his chest, though she didn't move out of his arms. She raised one eyebrow.

"But tomorrow morning, that openness has to be a two way street. I want a full explanation of a certain field action officer, Major Richard Rogers, Military Intelligence U.S. Army, and why I didn't know about him."

Castle's eyes widened and he opened his mouth, but Kate moved her hand to stop him from talking.

"And after Bracken is taken care of, I want _my_ Rick Castle back. So do Esposito and Ryan. I want my fiancé back. The boys want their brother back. Even Gates wants Mr. Castle back. And a zillion fans want their favorite author back. We want a full, legal name change, a permanent one."

She then took a quick breath and pushed away from him. "But right now, I want to go shopping. Actually, I want _us_ to go shopping. I want to get you a sport coat, a shirt and a tie for tonight. Your _Gentleman Jim _slacks and boots will do."

Castle's eyebrows almost hit his hairline. "You were there at the club last night?" he exclaimed.

She gave him a wicked smile. "Yes, I was, and it's a good thing Espo was there to stop me or I'd have been pulling that black-haired witch's hair out by the roots! I can finally admit it. I can be a very jealous woman. You can look all you want, but if I ever see another woman except Alexis, Martha or Gina touching you I won't be responsible for my actions."

Castle grinned. "Would that involve mud wrestling? 'Cause that, I could go for."

Kate rolled her eyes and smacked him lightly. "Not in this universe, buddy. Now please go put a shirt on. We're going shopping."

Castle put a loose fitting sport shirt cut for wear with tails out that concealed the .45 worn in an inside the waistband holster. They got into the Mustang and drove to the mall. They went into a men's wear shop, where Kate selected a light gray sport coat, a purple dress shirt that almost exactly matched her blouse, and a silver-gray tie.

"Not that I don't love the color, Kate, but what's with the matching blouse and shirt thing?" Castle asked.

She looked up at him and gave him a very satisfied, possessive smile. "It's a statement, Rick. Along with my ring, which I intend to flash a lot, it says we're a couple. So what if it's a very girly thing? I feel very girly right now."

They returned to the motel and went inside. Kate said, "Go shower and change. I have a couple of calls to make."

Lanie Parish had just finished what had been an easy day for her. She'd poured herself a glass of wine and was sitting down when her phone rang. It was Kate's ring tone. She was surprised. She hadn't expected to hear Kate's voice for at least a week or more.

She answered the phone. "What's up, girl?" Lanie asked.

"How good are you at guessing games, Lanie?" Lanie was nearly shocked. She certainly didn't expect to hear the happy lilt in Kate's voice.

"When it comes to you I used to be pretty good, not so much lately. Where are you?"

"I'm in New Mexico, at a motel, in a room." Kate said, teasingly. "I'm wearing something very unusual. Any idea what it might be?"

Lanie was becoming annoyed. "Knowing you, lately, I have no idea."

"Check out the text I'm sending you now, Lanie. I'm in Castle's room, and just look at the new accessory I have on my left hand!" Kate said her voice triumphant.

Lanie gaped in surprise at the picture on her phone. The diamond ring sparkling on Kate's hand easily matched the twinkling smile on her face.

"Oh Lord!" Lanie squealed. "I can't believe that you found him and convinced him that fast."

Kate's tone turned serious. "I can barely believe it myself, Lanie. He wanted to be convinced and I had to move fast or I'd have lost him. Thank God that he never stopped loving me and he gave me the chance to tell him how much I love him."

Lanie smirked. "You better do more than tell him, girlfriend."

Kate's grin was positively naughty. "Oh yeah, fireworks tonight! Gotta go gonna call Dad. Bye Lanie."

Jim Beckett picked up his phone, recognizing Kate's ring tone. "Katie?"

"Hi, Dad. I'm going to make this brief because I've got a lot to do tonight. I just wanted you to know that everything is going to be okay. I found Rick. We're back together and you'll be able to walk your little girl down the aisle."

Jim Beckett beamed. "I couldn't be happier, Katie. Be careful and bring him home safe."

"I will Dad. Love you. Good night."

Kate called Esposito. "Esposito, will you and Ryan please meet me at Castle's motel in half an hour?"

Kate could visualize Esposito's puzzled look and she smiled as he replied.

"Okay, Beckett. Care to explain?"

"Just be there."

Kate grinned and gave Castle a lascivious look as he came out of the bathroom, freshly showered and shaved, in just his boxers and a t-shirt. "I like the new chassis, Rick."

Rick smirked. "I'll be sure to keep it this way. Just as long as you remember to show me your appreciation in the way only you can."

Kate smiled and lowered her head for a moment, trying to hide the anticipation in her eyes.

When Rick was fully dressed Kate looked him over and said. "You know what's really not fair? We girls wear engagement rings to tell the world that we're off the market. You guys run around unmarked. Tomorrow we're getting you a promise ring!"

While they waited for the guys Kate explained what they were doing there.

Esposito and Ryan pulled up in the motel's parking lot and parked the Escape.

"There's Beckett's car," Ryan said, "but where's Beckett?" They got out and started walking toward the rooms. They both stopped and stared as Beckett and Castle stepped out of his room. Kate saw them and grinned. And then she promptly engaged Castle in a deep kiss before turning around and laughing at the shocked expressions on Esposito and Ryan's faces. She held up her left hand and the setting sun flashed fire off the diamond.

Kate beckoned the guys over and hugged each of them. Esposito didn't know if he were more surprised by the situation or Kate actually demonstrating affection in public.

"I told you that I was going to fix us. When the Bracken mission is over, I'm coming back to the 12th, if Gates will have me. So is Castle."

Esposito said, "Is that true, bro?"

Castle said, "As Kate said, if they'll let me. Yeah, I'm back."

The three men fist bumped.

Castle took the lead. "You two get out of your motel and move over here. I'll cover it. I don't like to have our forces separated. Check Kate out too, and bring her gear over here. Kate and I are going to dinner. We'll meet and discuss tactics tomorrow." Both Esposito and Ryan were surprised at the note of command in Castle's voice. The tag-along writer wasn't speaking. Major Richard Rogers was.

Kate and Rick got into the Mustang, Rick holding Kate's door for her. The guys got another shock. Rick was driving.

Esposito shook his head. "If I hadn't seen it I wouldn't believe it," he said.

"Do you think that we should get Beckett a room too?" Ryan said.

Esposito looked at Ryan like he'd grown a second head. "You've got to be kidding. Seriously? They're engaged, man. They've been separated for three months. I want our room to be _as_ _far_ away from them as we can. It'd be like listening to your parents." He shuddered.

"Where are we going?" Rick asked. His right hand was resting on Kate's thigh, finger lightly caressing the tender skin, driving her to distraction.

Kate's eyes were wide and dark. "_The Palace of the Serene Winds_. And if you don't stop that there will be no hot make-up sex, because our car will be wrapped around a tree!" Castle quickly removed his hand.

_The Palace of the Serene Winds_ was the most exclusive Asian restaurant in New Mexico, serving both Chinese and Japanese cuisine. Kate had booked reservations before going to see Castle. She knew that it would be difficult to get reservations in her own name, so she'd invoked the name of a famous novelist.

The restaurant manager met them at the reservation desk. "Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Castle. It is such a pleasure to have you with us tonight. This way please."

Rick's eyebrow shot up at the greeting and he gave Kate an amused grin. "And the name-dropping begins." She rolled her eyes but said nothing.

When they were seated Rick couldn't resist teasing Kate a little more. "And aren't we jumping the gun a little, _Mrs_. Castle? We haven't shared a wedding bed yet."

Kate could give as good as she got. She leaned over and breathed in his ear. "This booth has curtains. You want to start right here?"

Rick let out a short bark of laughter. "I think we better wait. We might get a little too noisy."

Kate turned serious. "I've waited so long, missed you so much. In my heart I _am_ Mrs. Castle."

The server approached their booth. A pretty young woman she said, "May I offer you a cocktail?"

Kate ordered a martini and Rick a Scotch and soda. After their drinks arrived, they took their time happily perusing the extensive menu, finally choosing a lobster dish for Kate and barbecued ribs for Rick.

As they finished their meal, the server asked, shyly, "Mr. Castle, may I please ask you for a favor? I am a huge fan of the Nikki Heat books. Would you please autograph my copy of _Deadly Heat?"_

Rick smiled. "I would be happy to. To whom shall I sign it?"

"Cindy Chang."

Castle signed the book and the girl ran to show it to her friends, and then the manager, who was her father. The smiles on their faces made Castle smile as well.

On the way back to the motel Castle slid his right hand over and took Kate's.

"Thank you for dinner, Mrs. Castle. I think that it was the most delicious meal I've eaten in my life. Though I'm pretty sure that it was the company."

Kate's smile lit up her whole face. "You're welcome, Mr. Castle. But just wait for our actual wedding supper. You ain't seen nothing yet."

"You know I do love a good cheeseburger." At Kate's death glare, Castle hastily backtracked. "Or they could be sliders. Just an appetizer."

As soon as they were back in their motel room Kate grabbed her bag and went into the bathroom, saying, "Why don't you get ready for bed, Rick. I won't be long."

Castle quickly stripped to his boxers and t-shirt, got out his travel kit, and brushed his teeth using the sink in the kitchenette. Once he finished, he sat down on the bed in eager anticipation to wait for Kate to join him.

Kate smiled as she listened to Castle get ready. She carefully removed her skirt and blouse, donned the negligee, brushed her teeth and refreshed her perfume. She took a look in the mirror to make sure she'd left nothing to chance. She smiled back at herself. She was ready. She left the bathroom, swaying her hips in as seductive a walk as she could manage.

Her eyes were smoky and her smile languid as she reached Castle. She snuggled into his lap and kissed him gently. He returned the favor, his hands sliding up and down her back. She broke off the kiss, leaned closer to him, and breathed into his ear, "Make love to me Rick. I've missed you so terribly. I've missed _us."_

Castle shivered slightly as her warm breath slid over his ear and neck. He pulled her back and then cupped her chin, gently lifting her face until his lips found hers, claiming them but barely exerting any pressure, teasing her, flicking his tongue lightly across the surface of her mouth. Kate wasn't having any of that. She locked her hands behind his neck, forcing his mouth down to hers, opening it and darting her tongue into his mouth. Several hot kisses later Castle began kissing the soft skin at the base of her throat. Kate moaned into his ear, her passion rising faster than it ever had before.

He moved back to her mouth, while sliding the negligee off her shoulders. She guided his hands to her breasts, then reached back and unfastened her own bra. She loved the rasp of his hands on her skin, especially the hard callus along the edges. Her breath came faster as he caressed and teased her breasts. She pulled his head to them for his kisses.

Kate pulled away long enough to pull Castle's T-shirt over his head and slide his boxers off, following with her own panties. She ran her hands appreciatively over his newly muscled chest before pulling him in for another kiss. Kate surrendered to a world of sensation as he lowered her to the bed and started a careful exploration of her body, caressed her inner thighs and finally the center of her. At last when she couldn't take it any longer their bodies joined, reaching climax together.

Unlike previous lovers, Rick didn't roll away, but pulled her in, snuggled her against him and just lay there soothing her, giving her the tenderness she so desperately needed to heal her emotional wounds. Neither of them got much sleep that night, but they didn't care.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Kate awoke to the ringing of her phone. She could hear the shower running in the bathroom.

She stretched and winced a little as a certain parts of her body protested. She was very tender, but oh, did it feel good. She answered the persistently ringing phone.

Frowning, she said, "What do you want so early in the morning, Lanie!" Her annoyed tone was somewhat offset by the yawn she couldn't stop.

Lanie had a merry tone in her voice but answered with mock seriousness. "Early? It's nine o'clock where you are. How was it? Dish, girlfriend, I want the details."

Kate laughed. "Lanie, I'm not going to be your personal porn channel. I will tell you this much. Three times last night and he took me over the moon each time. And I still want more!"

"Oh, I'm so jealous," Lanie moaned.

"Yeah, well, too bad, I'm not sharing him!" Kate teased. "You'll have to find your own. Seriously, though, Lanie, I can't tell you how beautiful it was and is going to be for the rest of our lives. I was such a damn fool for not handling it better. I wasted three months when I could have been happy." The buzz in her ear indicated another phone call. She quickly checked the number and raised her eyebrows. It was Alexis Castle. "Gotta go, Lanie I've got another call coming in."

Kate ended the call with Lanie and took a deep breath before answering Alexis.

"Hello, Alexis, what's going on?" Kate said.

"What did you do to my dad, Detective, where is he? I can't get hold of him!" Alexis' voice had the shrill tones of a scared and angry teen-ager, not the calm and reasonable young woman she usually was. "I saw the article. What did you do?"

Kate sighed. _If I ever get my hands on that Margrave bitch she's going to regret her lousy column._

"Calm down, Alexis, your dad is here with me. We're together no matter what you read. I'll let you talk to him in a minute, but I need you to understand something. We're both on a case and we can't talk about it, but we're OK. Just hold on a minute and I'll get him."

Castle came out of the bathroom at Kate's call. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and Kate gave a playful tug at it as he sat on the edge of the bed. He slapped her hand away as he took the phone. "Hey, Pumpkin, what's upsetting you?"

"I couldn't get a hold of you, Daddy, and then I saw this terrible article about you and Kate and I was so scared."

"What article?"

"It was in _The Times_ and it said that you and Kate were broken up and no one knew where you were."

Castle clenched his jaw, but then took a breath and spoke in his calmest tone. "It's okay, Alexis. Kate and I are together. I probably should wait for a more formal announcement, but you need to know now. Kate and I are engaged." He held the phone away from his ear as Alexis erupted into a frenzy of questions and squeals. Kate smothered a smile as he cautiously put it back to his ear. "Alexis, Alexis, calm-honey, please, that's really shrill-yes, I'm serious." He paused for a moment and shook his head. "No, I can't tell you what we're doing; only that it's important and we'll be home in no more than two weeks. Calm Gram down if she sees the article. I love you."

Kate spoke over Castle's shoulder. "Make that _we_ love you, Alexis." They ended the call and this time Kate succeeded in snatching the towel.

"I'm still naked," she purred, "and I'm in the mood for a quickie. Then we can shower together."

Castle eagerly fulfilled her requests.

Once they were dressed, Kate grinned and said, "For some inexplicable reason I'm famished. Castle, take your woman out and feed her."

They went to the same restaurant that Kate had been to twice before. Castle was engrossed in the menu when Bobbi approached the table. Kate put a finger to her lips when Bobbi raised an eyebrow, then she nodded and grinned. Bobbi gave her thumbs up, and then spoke.

"Can I interest you in some coffee or juice to start?" Castle looked up.

"Two coffees, please." When the coffee came Castle ordered the hunter's breakfast and Kate ordered Belgian waffles with strawberries and whipped cream and a side order of sausages.

They ate in a contented silence, not needing the small talk most couples indulged in. Kate had finally realized that her life without Castle had no warmth, and not even much meaning. She had told Hunt that she couldn't live without him and realized that it wasn't a catch phrase. It was true.

On Castle's part, all the pain, anger and fear of the past months was gone and only the love remained. Not only Kate's words yesterday, but the look in her eyes and her passionate love-making had confirmed that she was his for the rest of his life.

When they returned to the motel Kate sat on the sofa and pulled Castle down beside her. She gazed into his eyes, a serious look on her face, and said, "I promised you complete openness and I want the same from you. I need to know the why of Major Rogers. Why you couldn't tell me? If I'm to be your life mate I deserve to know. I know the basics." At his inquisitive look she shrugged. "Your dad explained them. I promise I won't judge you, we're past all that, but I need the why."

Castle took both her hands in his and ran his thumbs over her skin for a moment before he looked up and returned her gaze. "As you know, this started long before I met you. I was in a deep cover assignment. Not even my mother and Alexis knew. Meredith and Gina sure as hell didn't. During two assignments, I had to, as the phrase goes, 'terminate with extreme prejudice.' They were agents for terrorist groups, terrorists themselves. It wasn't something I wanted to do but I had to." Rick's eyes grew haunted, his voice low and intense. "Kate, I killed four men, up close and personal. I never wanted you to know that. I was afraid that you couldn't love a killer.

"But much more important than that, if the enemy found out who I was your life would be in danger, as would my mother, Alexis, even Espo, Ryan and Lanie. I couldn't risk that."

Kate pulled her hands out of his and cupped his face. "Rick, I could never not love you. You aren't a killer, you're a soldier. Killing in battle is no sin, even if the war is undeclared. You were protecting everything and everyone you love." She kissed him briefly, but then pulled away and gazed into his eyes.

"And that brings us to the most important part of the Bracken mission, for me. I saw you on the range with the rifle and your dad warned me. Baby, I want Bracken dead as much as you do, but I realize that it probably won't happen. I know that you plan to assassinate him but I can't let you do that. It's not who you are. If you did assassinate him, you would probably get away with it, your dad would see to that, but it would destroy you and that would destroy me. I finally realized it. I can't live without you."

Castle pulled Kate in close and said, "Okay, honey, I won't off the SOB if he goes quietly. But if he doesn't and puts you or the guys in immediate danger, I'll blow his ass away."

Kate kissed him again and said, "Okay, now that I have that promise, I want to get the marker for my property. No trespassing allowed." Castle laughed and shook his head, but followed her out the door. They drove to the local outlet of a major jewelry chain and Kate chose a heavy white gold ring with embossed Celtic knots, except at the top center, where there was an open space where Kate and Rick would be engraved. "Can we pick it up today?" Kate asked

The salesman smiled. "I can have it ready for you in an hour," he replied. They left the store and wandered around the mall until they found an upscale coffee shop, where Kate happily ordered her favorite latte. They took their coffee to go, and it wasn't long before they encountered a large bridal shop.

Kate tugged Castle's hand and they stopped. Underneath the tough cop exterior Kate was a romantic and could be as girlish as any other bride-to-be. She tossed her half-finished latte in a trash bin, intending to get another one later. She dragged Castle in with her, to the amusement of the woman at the counter, who had seen hundreds of other future grooms with the exact same 'I don't need to be here' expressions on their faces.

Kate took her time admiring the wide selection of dresses, occasionally shooting an amused glance at the look of patient suffering Castle was affecting. She finally did the famous Beckett eye roll and said, "Come on, Rick, if I see a style I like, I really would like your opinion on how I'd look in it!" She paused, smirking. "Though if I know you, you'll visualize me out of it!"

Castle grinned. "I guess I'm busted, but I have to admit you're gorgeous in your birthday suit."

Kate aimed a play slap at him and mouthed "Dirty old man!"

They left the shop and Castle bought her another latte before they picked up his ring.

On the way to the car Kate said, "You'd better be worth it, Castle. I've spent a lot of money, money that I don't have on a cop's salary, mind you, in catching you."

Castle looked at her in surprise. She laughed. "Haven't you heard the old line, Castle? You chased me till I caught you." He pulled her close and whispered, "And chasing you has been one of the greatest joys of my life."

They stopped for lunch at the _Burger Bonanza_. Rick loved cheeseburgers. Kate said, "Don't you dare order one of those double chili cheeseburgers with bacon. They're a heart attack on a plate and I want you around for a good long time."

"Aw, Kate…"

Kate folded her arms and gave him a _look_. "Don't you 'aw Kate' _me_, Rick. You had a good breakfast. Order a single cheeseburger for each of us, Cokes, and a large fries to share."

Castle put on his best puppy dog look and said, hopefully, "And a chocolate shake?"

She shook her head, smothering a grin. "No, Castle, no shake. I want you to keep that hard body for me to play with."

After lunch, Beckett and Castle met with Esposito and Ryan in Castle's room. Castle flopped on the couch and said, "All member team briefing is scheduled for 13:00 two days from now. There won't be much for us to do until then. So you two might as well play tourist and get the lay of the land while you do so. Beckett and I will do the same thing. I assume that you two have checked in with the local PD?"

Esposito nodded. "Yeah, we have."

Castle rubbed his chin. "There's no use wasting money. Beckett can turn in the Mustang and we'll use my Chevy. We'll get my Ford out of the lot; you can use it and turn in the Escape. We'll meet back here around eight o'clock. You guys bring some chips and dips, and I'll bring the beer."

"Just remember, domestic, none of that imported crap," Esposito quipped. Castle grinned.

That day passed quickly as did the following day and a half. It was time for the full briefing.

Kate was impressed, to say the least. It was the first time she'd seen Castle in uniform. The perfectly tailored dress blue uniform, the trousers tucked into gleaming jump boots, and the silver wings of a paratrooper on his breast were quite a change from the Castle she was used to. She'd forgotten that Hunt had told her that Castle had qualified as an Airborne Ranger. She couldn't read the medal ribbons on his chest, except for one, the Purple Heart. She also recognized the crossed rifles of the Infantry on his lapels.

Kate whistled and said, "Not that I don't love the look, Rick, but why the uniform?"

"The meeting is in the Federal building, Kate. There will be enough men and women in dark business suits going in at once as it is. Since there is an Armed Forces recruiting center and an Army liaison office, an officer in uniform is not going to draw any undue attention."

Kate couldn't resist having a little fun with him. She batted her eyes and ran a hand down his chest and in her sultriest voice said, "Ooh, I just love a man in uniform. You want to come back here later and fool around, soldier boy?"

Rick laughed and leaned in a little. "You bet, doll. We've just gotta avoid my fiancée. She's not good with the sharing." Kate laughed and smacked him lightly.

They entered the building ten minutes early, and Castle received the salutes of several enlisted personnel returning from lunch. He returned them with parade ground precision. They were directed to a guarded elevator that took them to a secure conference room.

Both Castle and Beckett were surprised to see about a dozen army NCO's in uniform sitting to one side. Just before they entered, Sergeant First Class Tom Ward leaned over to Master Sergeant Ron "The Bear" DeLancey and said, "Any idea what this special operation is? All I see is a bunch of cops and spooks."

"Not a clue, Doc. All I was told that our part of it was under some candy ass from MI."

He looked up as Castle and Beckett entered the room. "I wonder where the candy ass is. The only officer I see is that Major with the hot Fed. He's a Ranger. Looks like he's been in country somewhere."

Castle and Beckett took seats and she handed him one of the two lattes she'd been carrying. Kate rather enjoyed carrying Castle's coffee. He'd done it so many times for her and they both knew better than to drink conference coffee.

A tall muscular man in a dark suit stood. "Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. I am Special Agent Glen Sterling of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. I am in command of this operation. Unlike the movies it has no fanciful name. It is a joint task force made up of several Federal agencies including the FBI; Attorney general's office, the CIA, the DEA, ATF and the Army.

"The object is to dismantle a criminal organization that is involved with drug and human trafficking, illegal arms, money laundering, bribery, extortion and murder. It will involve the arrest and trial of Senator William H. Bracken of New York and 27 of his associates." Castle gently squeezed Kate's hand as she involuntarily stiffened at the mention of Bracken. Sterling continued.

"Bracken is scheduled to meet with several of his top criminal subordinates and suppliers here in Santa Fe in the next few days. Apparently there are some trust issues to be resolved and they demanded a face to face. The plan was to arrest him at that time. Some problems have arisen." He stopped and gestured to a man standing behind him.

"I would like to introduce J. Huntington Alexander, Deputy Director for field operations of the CIA, who is action officer. He will address those problems." Alexander, also known as Jackson Hunt, faced the audience and said, "The operation in the field was supposed to be simple. Arrest Bracken and the local gangbangers he uses as enforcers, simultaneously making raids all across the country. Something spooked him and he called in some mercenaries. That could be more than we could handle with S.W.A.T. teams. That is why we requested the aid of special operatives from Delta Force. You Delta operators will be under the command of Major Richard Rogers, Infantry, detailed MI. Major Rogers, front and center."

Castle went to the podium. He was unaware of the surprise on the faces of some of the NCO's. "Ladies and Gentlemen I have been dealing with these scumbags for over two years. They murdered my fiancée's mother, and tried to murder my fiancée, her father, and me. I want them shut down, and they_ will_ be shut down. The gang bangers are the civil authorities' problem. Our job is to deal with the mercs. They are not under any governmental authority, so they will be dealt with as terrorists. ROE: Weapons Free." Castle turned to Hunt. "That's all I have for now, Sir."

Hunt then said, "Okay, break down into individual team meetings. We'll re-convene at 16:00 for overall operational briefing."

Chief Warrant Officer 5 Ed "Big Cat" Catrone leaned over to DeLancey. "It's been fifteen years. but I'll never forget that voice. I ran into the Major over in the Sand Box. He was an MI spook.

A real bad ass, code name Night Hawk. He went in and brought out one of our female agents who'd been captured by terrorists. Took a 9mm in the gut and still killed two terrorist biggies. Carried the girl out." They looked over at Castle, impressed.

Castle started over to the Delta troops but was intercepted by Kate. She wasn't happy.

"Rick, why didn't you tell me about this new plan?"

He took her by the shoulders. "Easy, Kate, I didn't know about it till this morning. I got the information from my dad while you were in the shower. He told me not to tell you. It wasn't set in stone. Go on to your briefing, I've got to brief the Deltas."

Kate still wasn't happy but she understood operational security. She gave Castle a smile, nodded and went over to the AG team.

Castle walked over to the Deltas. Ed Catrone came to attention and saluted. "Warrant Officer Catrone with a detail of eleven, reporting as ordered, Sir."

Castle returned the salute, and then shook Catrone's hand. He smiled and said, "It's good to see you again, Cat. I always wondered if you'd made it out of the Sand Box."

Catrone gave a nod and slight smile. "You're the guy who got the girl out, right?"

"Yeah, but don't spread the name or the story. Let's get down to business."

Catrone introduced the rest of the team. Castle looked them over, liked what he saw then said, "Most of the mercs will probably be wearing body armor, so I don't want to rely on the 5.56. I want to go with the 7.62 NATO. Have you qualified on the SCAR-H?" Everybody nodded.

"Do we have any in the arsenal?"

Catrone nodded. "Yes, sir, although they're not in the regular service inventory."

Castle thought for a moment and then said, "I'll have Hunt get a dozen out here with five mags per gun and a thousand rounds with a 1-3-2 ratio Tracer, ball, AP. I haven't qualified with it so I'll be carrying a personally owned weapon, a SOCOM 16. Everyone carries a 1911 and a combat knife. Personal choice on the last. Fritz helmets and vests on this one. Let's get some coffee and brainstorm."

Sergeant DeLancey said, "Can I ask a non-mission question, sir?"

"Go ahead, Sergeant."

"The hottie that you came in with, Sir. She's a Fed, but she seemed concerned with you."

Castle raised an eyebrow. "She's Federal Agent Katherine Beckett, and while she is hot, that's the last time anyone on this team gets to say it. She's an officer's lady. She's my fiancée." The sergeant murmured a quick apology and they continued.

The meeting quickly progressed to the final briefing. Hunt stood up again and turned on a very large flat screen monitor. It showed a complex of buildings. "This is the industrial complex where the meet will be held. It was originally thought that they would meet at night but they scheduled it for early afternoon. We believe that they thought that a large number of vehicles in the area at night would arouse suspicion."

Hunt paused to take a sip from a bottle of water. "The latest intelligence says that the meet is scheduled for five days from now, but it could be as little as three. We will move in on the ground using police tactical vehicles, with helicopters providing cover and a medevac bird and ground ambulances standing by. Santa Fe police and New Mexico State police will establish a perimeter, although they won't be mobilized until the last minute to avoid any warning being given."

Agent Sterling stood up. "Thank you, Director." He turned back to the group. "Every attempt will be made to arrest Mr. Bracken peacefully, and the order is don't fire unless fired upon, but if fired on I expect rapid and massive response. Order packets with photographs are being distributed. Study them and be ready to move on two hours' notice. Thank you that will be all."

Beckett, Castle, Esposito and Ryan met outside the building. Esposito was staring at Castle in awe. "I read about it Bro, it's a different thing to see it. Beckett, let me explain those ribbons. Silver Star for valor, Purple Heart, Army Commendation Medal, Iraq Service, War on Terror, Army service, Overseas service and National Defense."

Kate took Rick's hand in both of hers and looked up at him with a tender look on her face.

She said, "Javi, I'm proud of what he did to earn those medals. I just want to make sure that he doesn't earn any more of them." She smiled shyly. "You know what I'd like to do tonight? I'd like to go out to dinner, the four of us, to celebrate being back together. I missed you guys so much."

"You're on," Esposito said. "How about seven o'clock?"

"Works for me," Castle said.

In the motel, Kate giggled and said "I can't believe I'm actually saying this but you in uniform is a huge turn on. I was never one of those I love a man in uniform girls, but I love this man in uniform. Or even better, out of it." As she simultaneously kissed him and began unbuttoning his coat. Later as she lay against him, spent and satisfied, she said, "We'd better shower and get ready to go. Wear your uniform again. I like showing you off. And eat a hearty dinner, love, I want an encore performance."

Castle waggled his eyebrows. "Insatiable woman!"

"Of course I'm insatiable. We've got three months of separation to make up for."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

They met the guys at Navajo Ned's steak house and enjoyed a hearty southwestern dinner. Then Kate made it plain that she had private plans at the moment and she had no intention of letting them slide.

The next four days passed in a blur. The teams met in an old National Guard base and trained as best they could considering the limited facilities and need for security. For Kate and Rick the days were spent in training and their evenings making love.

On the morning of the fifth day, they got the go signal. When they got to the staging area they changed into their tactical clothing. Beckett wore dark gray pants and jacket with a protective vest marked Federal Agent. Castle wore the Army Combat Uniform complete with combat helmet and protective vest.

When everyone was assembled and ready to go Rick took Kate in his arms and kissed her.

She clung to him as he said, "It's almost over, honey, just a couple of more hours. You be careful and keep your head down."

Kate returned the kiss, passionately and replied, "You be careful too. I couldn't bear to lose you now."

The call came. "Subject is in place, mount up and move out." Castle and his team mounted two Stryker Infantry carriers. All the rest mounted armored Hummers.

With the three helicopters circling overhead the strike team roared into position. Agent Sterling stood behind the door of his Hummer and used a bullhorn. "William H. Bracken this is the FBI. You are under arrest as are all of your associates. Come out of the building with your hands raised. This building is completely surrounded. No escape is possible. You have one minute to exit the building."

Felix Cortes was desperate. He knew that if the Feds had enough on Bracken to stage a full scale raid and not do a quiet arrest that he had no chance at all. He also had the stupidly Macho Man attitude and had no intention of spending the rest of his life in prison. He grabbed an AK74 assault rifle and breaking out a window, opened fire. As luck would have it, Agents Stack and McCord had just exited their vehicle. Cortes hadn't even aimed. He'd just let out a long burst of automatic fire. McCord screamed and fell as two rounds pierced her thighs and one punched through her vest hitting her in the abdomen. Stack's head exploded.

Bracken was appalled. "You damned fool! You just killed a Federal agent! They'll be out for blood now." Cortes slammed his rifle's butt into Bracken's jaw.

"What do I care, _puto_? They're not taking me alive to rot in prison like an old Papaya."

Several of Cortes' men started firing at the strike force.

Agent Sterling commanded, "Commence firing, I need cover fire, right now. MEDIC!

Agent McCord lay writhing and moaning on the ground. A stomach wound was one of the most painful.

Castle's men deployed from their vehicles. Four of their rifles were fitted with grenade launchers. They fired high explosive grenades at the base of the windows. Several of the SWAT members fired tear gas canisters into the building as did castle's men. The mercenaries and gangsters began stumbling out of the building and taking cover behind vehicles, mistakenly believing that they provided sufficient cover. The heavy 7.62 projectiles punched right through.

Castle gave the order to advance. The troop's leaped-frogged forward, one group firing while the other advanced. Suddenly the firing became very heavy, and then began to die down.

Beckett drew her pistol and ran forward to help McCord. She glanced to her right just in time to see Castle stagger and fall. She couldn't help herself, a wail burst from her throat, "Oh God, Rick, NO, RICK, NO!" She turned and had only taken a couple of steps toward Castle, when a burning pain lanced through her arm and she dropped her pistol.

Wild-eyed Bracken stood a few feet away pointing a machine pistol at her. If he'd just fired he'd have had her but he screamed, "You crazy, obsessed bitch! If you hadn't pushed the investigation, it would have gone cold. Now you've destroyed me but I'm taking you with me!"

From just a few feet away, Kate heard three loud shots. The first round hit Bracken in the shoulder, shattering the joint and lacerating the brachial artery. The MP5 fell at his feet.

The second and third rounds hit just below his sternum punching through and shattering his spine. Despite his wounds, Castle had fired from the ground, ending the Bracken threat once and for all.

With a roar, the Delta Force men charged. The mercenary who'd shot Castle was hit by fifteen rounds, shredding his torso. Kate ran to Castle and reached him just before Esposito and Ryan.

Esposito's bull roar rang above the tumult. "MEDIC! MEDIC!"

Kate, her tears flowing, cradled Castle's head, terrified at the blood on his vest and pooling under his leg. His eyes were clouded with pain and blood was on the corner of his mouth.

"Kate, I….love you…take care of Alexis." He blinked. "Espo… Take care of Kate, Ryan, take my guns, not issue."

Kate almost yelled. "Rick, stay with me, you can't leave me, I love you, I need you."

Castle's head lolled in her lap. Then Doc Ward was there. He put two fingers to Castle's neck.

"He's still alive. Get out of my way, troop," he yelled at Esposito He ripped open Castle's vest and jacket and sliced open his t-shirt. "Sucking chest wound." He felt around Castle's back.

"Bullet's still in there." He pulled a stethoscope from his bag and listened. "Good, the lung hasn't collapsed." He dusted some antiseptic on the wound and covered it with a plasticized compress.

Next he slit open Castle's trouser leg. "Through and through, no femoral damage." He dusted that wound and bandaged it. He grabbed a tactical radio from a pouch on his harness. "Dust off, Dust off. On my beacon." In only seconds the Blackhawk helicopter was settling to the ground. Two medics came running over carrying a stretcher. They rolled Castle onto the stretcher. Kate jumped to her feet. "I'm going with him"

One of the medics said, "Sorry, ma'am we can't…" Suddenly Hunt was standing there.

"She's his fiancée. Let her on the bird. Kate, I think this is yours," Hunt said and handed her pistol to her. Two other medics had loaded McCord on the helicopter and it took off as soon as Kate and Rick were on board. Kate sat on a jump seat holding Rick's hand.

"Let me have a look at your arm, please, ma'am." Kate was suddenly conscious of the pain in her arm. Her adrenaline had been masking it. The medic cut her sleeve away. There was a long, shallow groove that hadn't touched bone. The medic cleaned and dressed it."

At the site, Hunt reported to Sterling, "Bracken's dead, as is Cortes, about ten gang-bangers and all twenty mercs. Tough about Bracken, but he was trying to kill a Federal officer. We've got three dead, seven wounded, two critically."

The helicopter landed at a trauma center in Santa Fe. The ER personnel rushed both Castle and McCord to OR's.

One of the nurses told Kate. "Let us take a look at your arm."

Frantically, Kate said, "No, I have to be with my fiancé."

Gently, the nurse said, "You can't be with him. It's up to the surgeons now. The best thing you can do for him, now, is let us treat your arm, so you can have the strength to be there for him."

The doctor removed the field bandage, re-cleaned the wound de-dressed it and gave Kate a shot of anti-biotic and a shot of pain-killer.

About an hour and a half later, Esposito and Ryan showed up at the hospital to find a distraught Kate huddled in a chair, crying. Esposito knelt next to the chair and put his arm around Kate.

"Do we know anything?"

"No Javi, he's still in surgery." Kate turned her head to look at Esposito. Her eyes were red and puffy and lines of pain and worry were drawn through her beautiful features. "Javi, this is all my fault. If I hadn't insisted on pushing the investigation, if I would have listened to Castle when he asked me to stop, if I hadn't been stupid and selfish, we could be home now. I could be his wife. Instead I may be a widow before I'm a bride."

Esposito hugged Kate. "Don't think like that. Castle's strong, stronger than we ever knew. He's a fighter. He loves you. He'll pull through this. And it's not your fault. Castle's a Ranger and a spook. He knew what he was getting into better than we did."

Three more long hours and many cups of coffee later, a very tired doctor came out.

"Family of Major Rogers?"

A very shaky Kate got to her feet, as did Esposito and Ryan. Hunt, who had shown up half an hour ago, also stood. "I'm his fiancée," she said.

"And I'm his father" Hunt said. "Anything you tell Kate and me, you can tell his partners."

"Major Rogers is in critical but stable condition. He sustained gunshot wounds to the thigh and torso. The thigh wound was of lesser significance and has been sutured and should heal with no problems. The torso wound is more serious. The bullet punctured a lung, broke two ribs and came to rest near his spine. We were able to suture the lung and replace his rather significant blood loss. We feel that we should wait a little before we remove the bullet."

"Can I see him?" Kate almost begged.

"Not yet." The doctor wore a kind expression. "He's still in recovery. And then in the ICU overnight."

"I'm not leaving him alone."

"He won't be alone."

Kate's expression was fierce. "Maybe not. but you people don't love him. I do."

Hunt stepped into the waiting room and made a phone call. A few minutes later the hospital administrator came in.

He spoke to the surgeon. "Dr. Porter, put a bed next to Major Rogers' in the ICU. Young lady, I want you to go to the doctor's lounge and take a shower. Nurse Howell will bring you some scrubs. Then someone will bring you supper. Then make whatever phone calls you have to make. By that time Major Rogers should be in the ICU. If his vital signs are stable we'll move him to a private room in the morning. He's heavily sedated but should come out of it tomorrow afternoon."

He handed Kate a bottle of sleeping pills. "Take one at bedtime. If you don't sleep, you'll be wiped out tomorrow and won't do him any good at all."

Kate nodded acceptance. To Esposito and Ryan she said, "Guys, you go back to the motel. Bring me some clothes my personal things and the Yukon." After that, she followed the doctor's instructions, showered, changed and ate. Then she made the call that she was dreading. Alexis picked up on the second ring.

"Alexis, its Kate. Can you get hold of Martha? Your dad's been seriously injured. He's in the hospital here in Santa Fe. Okay, first thing in the morning. Call me and give me your flight number. I'll meet you at the airport."

One of the nurses gave her a hospital hygiene pack so Kate was able to brush her teeth then crawl into the bed, and she fell asleep holding Castle's hand.

Esposito and Ryan showed up in the morning with Kate's clothes and personal items, dropped off the truck and told her that they were going to make a report to Gates and that they would be back after lunch.

Kate showered, applied her make-up and dressed. She'd received the call from Alexis and was headed for the airport to pick Alexis and Martha up. She kissed Castle softly and said, "Don't go anywhere without me, love, I'll be back soon."

Kate scanned the arrival gate anxiously, dreading what she had to tell the two other ladies in Castle's life. She spotted two redheads pushing through the crowd.

"Alexis, Martha over here." The two women made a beeline to Kate. They each had a single bag.

Alexis's expression was one of fear, almost panic. "What happened to my dad, Beckett, why is he in the hospital?"

"He was shot, Alexis. Don't talk about it here. Wait till we get in the car."

When they got in the car, before Alexis could go ballistic, Martha put a soothing hand on Kate's shoulder. "Kate, darling, tell us what happened. Alexis, be quiet until she's done. Any questions that need to be asked, I will ask."

Martha's voice was low but the note of command couldn't be mistaken. Kate took a deep, fortifying breath. "We were on a raid to take town a vicious gang and arrest the leaders, one of whom was the man who ordered my mother's murder and the attack on me. Senator Bracken."

Martha gasped. "And to think I voted for that rat!"

Kate continued the pain of the events evident in her eyes and her voice. "During the raid Castle was shot by Bracken's men. Bracken was going to kill me but Rick got him first. The Dragon is dead!"

"But why was Richard along on the raid in the first place?" Martha asked. "This isn't New York."

Kate sighed and rubbed her face. "I shouldn't have to tell you this, but we don't know if Rick will be able to. He's in critical condition. You have to know this before you see him."

"Rick wasn't there for New York or even to help the AG's office. Rick was on Federal assignment as Major Richard Rogers, Military Intelligence."

"What?" Alexis and Martha chorused." What do you mean Military Intelligence?"

"Don't you remember when Alexis was little that Rick would disappear for months at a time? You never questioned it?"

"I thought that he was doing research," Martha said. "He was discharged from the Army."

Kate looked Martha in the eyes. "I wish he had been. The discharge was phony. Rick was transferred to a covert unit of MI."

"I don't believe you!" Alexis screeched.

Kate's face was etched with sorrow. "Your grandfather will be at the hospital. He will confirm it. He has the records. I didn't know either until a few days ago."

When they got to the hospital, they found Jackson Hunt, Ryan, Esposito, and two men they didn't recognize. The two men were in Army uniform.

Alexis and Martha hugged Esposito and Ryan. Martha said, "I am Richard's mother, Martha Rogers. I don't believe that I know these gentlemen." She gestured to the soldiers.

The warrant officer stepped forward. "Ma'am, I'm Warrant Officer Edward Catrone, and this is Master Sergeant Ron DeLancey. We just came to see how Major Rogers is doing. I served with him in Iraq. Damn good officer, Ma'am, brave as hell. Best spook I ever saw. He's tough, Ma'am, he'll pull through."

"Thank you, Warrant Officer," Martha said.

Tears were running down Alexis' face. She ran to Kate and hugged her. "I'm sorry for doubting you, Kate."

Kate was sobbing. "It's okay Alexis, I know you love your dad and you're scared. I love your dad and I'm scared too."

Jackson Hunt said, "Martha, Alexis, I can explain all this to you."

Martha gave him an icy stare. "Jackson Hunt, we don't have time right now. The three women in this room only care about Richard. You can explain later and you had better have a good one!"

A few minutes later, a doctor came out.

"Family of Major Rogers, I am Dr. Radnor. He's in his room now. He should be waking up in a couple of hours. That man is incredibly strong, based on test results, we won't know for sure until he wakes up, but we're tentatively upgrading his condition from critical to serious."

"Can we see him now?" Alexis asked.

"Yes, but no more than five minutes."

"That's where you're wrong doctor," Martha said. "The rest of us will stay no more than five minutes but Kate stays with him. He'll want her there when he wakes up."

They all trooped into the room. Kate's breath caught at the sight of Castle. She barely managed to keep from sobbing. He looked so pale, with the bandages around his chest, wires and tubes all over the place. The only reassuring things were his even breathing and the steady beep, beep, beep of the monitor.

Alexis ran to her father's bedside bent over and kissed his cheek. "I'm here Daddy, I love you."

Martha did the same then said, "Wake up for us Richard, we all love you."

Kate bent over and kissed his lips. "I love you more than anything. I'm here, and I'll always be here."

She sat on the edge of his bed and held his hand.

Esposito said, "You hang in there, bro. We still have a lot of tequila shots to do, and hoops to shoot."

Ryan said, "Can't wait for you to get back to the 12th, bro. It's no fun without you."

Hunt started into the room, but Kate jumped up, her eyes blazing in anger. "You can't come in here now. If it weren't for you he wouldn't be lying there. Maybe when he's safe and well you can talk to him. Not now!"

Martha shooed everyone out of the room and closed the door. Kate sat back down and took Rick's hand again. She didn't really say anything intelligible, just the soft crooning that women have used to soothe their wounded men since time immemorial.

She was starting to doze off when she heard the pace of the monitor speed up. Suddenly alert, she noticed Castle's eyelids fluttering. He was waking up. His eyes slowly opened. His voice was weak. "Kate?"


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"I'm here, Rick, I'm here! Oh God, how I love you! You came back to me!"

"Thirsty…Kate, so thirsty." She got the water tumbler and bent the straw and placed it between his lips, lifting and supporting his head with the other hand.

"Little sips, Rick, little sips. You don't want to take too much and be sick." After he'd taken enough to soothe his throat she lay his head back down on the pillow then placed a soft lingering kiss on his lips. She pushed the call button. "Yes?"

"Major Rogers is awake. Please call the doctor." It was only a few minutes when Dr. Radnor and two nurses came in. Kate moved aside but didn't leave the room. The doctor checked the monitor and shined a light into Castle's eyes while the nurses checked his blood pressure and temperature.

The doctor then gave Rick a shot. "It's just a light stimulant, Major Rogers. I'll be back in a few minutes after it takes effect." The doctor came back in about 15 minutes. Castle was more alert.

"How do you feel, Major Rogers?" the doctor asked.

Castle grimaced. "Like a damned gorilla was beating on my chest!"

"Getting shot will do that to you," the doctor replied dryly. Castle couldn't help grinning, and the doctor smiled as well and continued.

"This is the situation Major. You were shot in the upper torso and the right thigh. You had two broken ribs and a punctured lung. There is also a bullet lodged in your back. You had surgery to repair the lung and you came through that just fine. It was decided to wait about a week to remove the bullet as that would require a second surgery. The bullet won't cause any additional problems where it is. We are flooding you with enough anti-biotic that an infection doesn't stand a chance."

Castle gave a tired smile and said, "Guess I fooled them again, Doctor, and thank your surgical team for saving my life. How long will I be here?"

"We'd like to wait a week before removing the bullet. That should be a quick and simple surgery as the bullet is resting in muscle tissue, fairly near the surface."

Castle thought for a minute then said, "Will I be stable enough to be transported? I would prefer to be near my home in New York for the final surgery. I can afford an air ambulance from here to the airport. I have a friend with a private jet who can pick me up there."

"I think so, Major, but we'll have to see how you progress."

The doctor smiled at Castle and said, "There are several people to see you. They can come in but for no more than ten minutes."

Kate got up off the bed and said to Castle, "I'll be back in a minute, Love. I need to make amends for some bad behavior of mine." As she exited, Alexis ran in and hugged Castle.

"You scared us so badly, Dad. Thank God you're alive. I love you, Dad, but I'm mad at you too. Why did you do it?"

Castle put his left arm around Alexis; it hurt to move his right. "I had to. I've been a soldier since before you were born. I was covert. You and Gram couldn't know. But this was duty."

Martha said, "I don't need an explanation, Richard. Just marry our beautiful Kate and make her happy."

Esposito and Ryan stood by the bed and Esposito spoke for both of them. "Listen, bro, get your ass out of that bed and back to the 12th as fast as you can. We're bored."

The two soldiers came in next. Ed Catrone said, "Damn glad you'll be okay Major. It was good working with you again. Oorah Sir!"

"Thanks, Catrone, watch your six."

"You too, Sir."

While the others were talking, Kate went out to the waiting room. Jackson Hunt was doing something with his tablet. Kate went to him and touched his shoulder, hurting to see the expression of worry and pain on his face.

"Mr. Hunt, I'm sorry about how I treated you. I was way out of line. I was worried, scared and mad. I lashed out at you for something that was much more my fault than yours. I know that you love Rick. Can you please forgive me and come see him?"

Jackson Hunt stood and, a rarity for him, hugged Kate. "I forgive you Kate, though there's nothing really to forgive. I understand where you're coming from. I've been there often enough."

Kate smiled a soft, grateful smile. "Thank you, I realize that if it weren't for you I might have lost him forever."

Hunt returned the smile. "Come on Kate, let's go see my son."

Kate and Hunt entered Castle's room. Kate sat down on the bed and caressed Castle's face.

Hunt took Castle's hand. "Glad to see that you're awake, son. I have to tell you how proud I am of you. You did a damn good job out there. I haven't been in your life, out of necessity but that's going to change, if you allow it."

Castle smiled and squeezed Hunt's hand. "It will be good to get to know you, Dad."

Castle looked at Esposito. "Hey, Espo, do you think Gates will give you a couple of extra days? I'd like you to drive my Ford back. Alexis and my mother can take the Yukon."

Esposito said, "Sure thing, bro, we could use a little down time."

Ryan added, "I've got your toys, Castle."

"Why do you want that truck, Richard?"

Kate chimed in. "Boys and their toys Martha, boys and their toys. Espo, please go and check us out of the motel, bring Castle some clothes and his shaving kit pack the rest and bring my things here, Take the rest of Castle's things with you. Castle's got a private room so I'm staying with him. Now everybody take off, he needs to rest."

Alexis said, "Dad, Gram and I want to stay at least a couple of days."

Castle smiled at Alexis. "Okay, Pumpkin, you can stay in my motel room. It's paid for another week, anyway." After the others left Castle waggled his eyebrows. "How much rest do you think I'm going to get with you in here, beautiful?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "Don't even dream about it Castle. This is all you're going to get for now." She leaned over and kissed him, softly. "Now shut up and go to sleep."

The week passed quickly enough for Castle although Kate wanted to throw a brick through the TV screen by the end.

They flew back to New York that day and Castle was admitted to Mount Sinai hospital and the surgery to remove the bullet done the next day. It was a simple surgery and didn't take long.

Castle was kept three more days to insure that there were no complications from the surgery. It was finally time to go home.

As soon as he was settled in the loft, Kate went into his office and typed out her formal resignation from Federal service called in a notary and had it notarized. She then borrowed Castle's Ferrari (or as he'd told her, _our_ Ferrari) drove to the New York AG's office and turned it in along with her badge and credentials.

Two days later, Castle received a call from the mayor, asking if he was up to receiving official visitors the next morning. They set the time for ten A.M.

Kate was up early and prepared breakfast for the family. Then she took the time to share a shower with Castle. He was still stiff and sore and appreciated the help, in more ways than one.

She was especially careful with her hair and make-up and selected an emerald green silk dress that Castle had given her. She helped Castle dress in a navy blue suit with a crisp white shirt and a lighter blue tie. She made very sure that he was wearing his promise ring.

At precisely ten, the doorbell rang. Kate went to answer it, making clear to everyone that this was now her home.

When Kate opened the door he was shocked. She'd expected to see the mayor but not the Governor, the police commissioner and Captain Gates. She recovered quickly. "Please come in, welcome to our home." Kate's eyes lit up and a broad smile graced her face as she said those words for the first time. Kate was glowing. _We may not be married yet but this is our home, mine as well as his. And Alexis is my daughter. Meredith doesn't deserve her. She never did,_ Kate thought.

Castle began moving toward his guests, a little slowly but moving. "Let's all be seated in the living room, shall we?" Kate said. "I'm afraid that I didn't prepare any refreshments, as we're just settling back in."

Martha beamed at Kate. She was so happy to see the way that Kate took charge. The man might be head of the household but the house itself was the woman's domain and this house had needed that touch for a very long time.

Mayor Weldon smiled at Kate and said, "Don't worry about that, Kate. After we've finished our business I've ordered coffee and pastries brought in." They all chatted for a few minutes about Castle's recovery and how he was feeling at the moment. Then the mayor said, "Now let's get down to business. Rick, your city needs you, and your state needs you. After long discussions with Frank and Captain Gates we came to the following decision. We intend to take an unprecedented step. While you were consulting with the detectives of the 12th, they had an unusually high rate of case closures. We feel that after your years in military intelligence and five years of shadowing the Detective Beckett and her team, you don't need any training as an investigator and your time would be wasted on foot patrol. So we are asking you to take on the duties of a reserve officer working in plain clothes. That way you can be certified to carry a weapon.

"Since you will be recuperating for the next six to eight weeks, you can learn the laws of the State of New York as they apply to peace officers. We will swear you in today as a probationary reserve officer. You will still need to pass those tests and qualify with your weapon."

The police commissioner then said, "Mr. Castle, every organization needs, besides its traditions, its myths, its fairy tales, and its heroes. Here we have the prince saving the princess and slaying the dragon. Your story is all over every cop bar in New York. You're one of us in our hearts. We want you to be one of us in fact." He turned to Kate.

"Ms. Beckett, if you wish to return to the department, you will be rehired, effective today. Your exclusive duty for the next eight weeks will be protection duty for Mr. Castle and to serve as a training officer getting him ready for the tests and for duty. What do you say?"

They could all see the answer shining in Castle's eyes. He started to accept but then looked at Kate who was standing with her arms folded and an eyebrow raised.

"Can you give my fiancée and I a few minutes to discuss this? We're equal partners in anything that concerns our family." Kate nodded and smiled her approval.

They moved to Castle's office to discuss it. Castle took Kate's hands in his. "Honey, I really want to do this. You know that I'd just continue to consult anyway. This way I'll have a badge, a gun and the authority I need to protect you as you protect me."

Kate gave him a grin. "I'll agree to this because as a sworn officer you'll have to obey the rules for a change."

They returned to the others. "We accept."

The commissioner said, "One more thing. In your case, we will waive the married partners not working together as long as you two maintain a professional appearance when on duty."

The commissioner then handed each of them the forms they had to sign, swore them in and issued their badges and guns.

The governor said, "Major Castle, (Rick had already legally changed his name back to Castle) I understand that you plan to leave the Army. I am asking you to consider transferring to the New York National Guard. You will be assigned to Headquarters, as assistant G-2 at headquarters. You will not be going on any more covert assignments. You will be promoted Lieutenant Colonel."

Castle asked Kate, "What do you think?"

"Might as well. In for a penny, in for a pound."

Castle gave the Governor a very stern look. "I will accept on the proviso that I will not accept any covert assignments. I have spent enough of my life in the shadows.

"That's the deal, Major."

The mayor took out his phone and made a call. "Now that business is over, time for refreshments," he said. Just a few minutes later, a caterer arrived with a large platter of assorted pastries and carafes of coffee, tea and hot chocolate. Kate by passed her usual bear claw for a chocolate truffle éclair topped with whipped cream. She snagged a bear claw for later.

Captain Gates raised her cup in salute. "I can't believe that I'm saying this, but I'm actually looking forward to seeing you at the 12th. Officer Castle, you've been an asset in the past." Then she gave an absolutely snarky smile. "And now I'll actually have a way to control you. No more loose cannons on my deck."

After their guests left Kate pulled Rick to the couch and snuggled up against him. "We need to talk," she said. She laughed at the apprehensive look on his face.

"About what?" he asked.

Her eyes sparkled as she said, "About our wedding. I'd like an early evening wedding, two months from Saturday. I know that this part will surprise you since I've always avoided publicity, but since I'm only doing this once, I want it to be as memorable as it can be."

With a saucy grin she breaks into the 50's patter she used in the motel. "Come on, soldier boy, won't you break out those pretty dress blues for me?" She finished by batting her eyes. Rick responded in kind. "Why, sure, doll, anything your sexy little heart desires." They both erupted in laughter.

Rick said, "Seriously, Kate, do you want me in uniform?"

She put a hand to his face, kissed him and said, "No, not really. I love the sight of you in your tux. But because far too many people only see the publicity photos and the tabloids, they think that you really are just a millionaire playboy. For once I want them to see the man behind the mask, the real version of Derek Storm." She smiled. "Rick, I saw a video of that sword ceremony. It was so beautiful. That would show your heroic background, too. Could we have that, please?"

Rick thought about it for a minute then said, "You can have anything you want, Kate. In fact I have an idea. What if we get the commissioner to approve using four police officers in dress blues along with four Army officers in dress blues? I'll buy the sabers for the cops. They can keep them as mementos." Kate grinned and hugged him tightly.

Kate and Castle changed into more comfortable clothes and Kate called Lanie to ask her help, asking her if she could take the day after tomorrow off. Kate, Lanie, Martha and Alexis would meet with the wedding planners and start the ball rolling. Rick called the best wedding planners in the city to schedule the meeting. Kate, Martha, and Alexis sat down over coffee and began immediately. Castle started hovering until Martha looked at her son and said, "Go find something to do, Richard. This is all Kate's show. Unless, of course, you'd really like to decide the color and placement of the centerpiece arrangements." Castle hastily beat a retreat at those words and left his fiancée in the capable hands of his mother and his daughter.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Castle did call the police commissioner and got him to agree to the police part of the honor party as long as he got to be part of it.

Lanie was to be maid of honor with Alexis, Jenny Ryan, and Kate's college friend Madison as bridesmaids. Javier Esposito wound up as best man with Kevin Ryan and Castle's author/poker pals Michael Connelly and Dennis LeHane as groomsmen.

Castle initially decided between Esposito and Ryan as best man. After a long discussion it came down to a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors.

"OK, so we'll say 'Rock, paper, scissors' and show our hands on scissors," began Esposito.

"Wait," interrupted Ryan. "Why on scissors? Aren't we supposed to show our hands after scissors?"

"No, it's on scissors so no one can cheat. And we're doing the normal variation. No fire hands or any of that other crap."

"You know you can only use fire hands if it's best of 5," said Ryan. "Hey, we should do best of 3 or something. Castle's best man shouldn't be decided on just one round."

"OK, best of 3, but no whining when I win."

"You mean when I win. I can read you better. I'll know what hand you're gonna use."

Esposito snorted. "Yeah, right. I can read _you_ like a book. _Me_, not so much."

"So did we agree on hands on scissors or after?"

Castle, watching this exchange, dropped his head into his hands with a sigh. Kate rolled her eyes and stepped forward.

"OK, boys, we're gonna do it this way. Back to back, say 'rock paper scissors,' and show your hands on scissors."

The men grumbled but did as she said. Esposito won the first round with rock to Ryan's scissors, but Ryan won the second with scissors to Esposito's paper. They stood back to back again for the final deciding round.

"Rock, paper, scissors!" they exclaimed. Esposito smirked and Ryan groaned when Kate revealed that Esposito won with paper to Ryan's rock.

"And there we go. Best man will be the best man," Esposito said. Everyone else groaned at the pun.

Three days after the decision day, Alexis Castle opened the door of the Loft to a messenger.

"Alexis Castle?" She nodded. "Special delivery for you." Alexis was intrigued. It was a copy of that morning's New York Daily News with Society page underlined.

Alexis opened the paper and grinned in delight at the article. It was titled "NO TREASURE HUNT," by Marcia Fellows.

"It gives me no small pleasure to see my colleague from _The Times_ in such grievous error.

The following statement is from millionaire author Richard Castle's fiancée NYPD detective Kate Beckett, Mr. Castle's muse or so we're told. Quote: 'I'm not in the least bit sorry to disappoint all you ladies out there but there will be no treasure hunt. Any mending that Rick. Castle's broken heart needed has already been done, by me. To put it in Rick's own words: _The rightful queen is in the castle and she will defend it_. In my own, BACK OFF!'

In an exclusive interview with Detective Beckett, this writer was told that the date and venue have been set but will not be announced to the public just yet."

As Kate was nominally a Catholic although hadn't regularly attended mass in years, and Castle had never declared any specific faith , he set about giving Kate the most spectacular wedding he could and arranged for them to be married in St. Patrick's Cathedral. It had taken some arguing to get her to agree but she finally had. Castle, being Castle, had cheerfully offered a large donation to the Cathedral's restoration fund.

The eight weeks had flown by in a flurry of details for the wedding and reception. Castle studying for his police exams and his physical therapy. Besides the physical therapy sessions, there was an excellent state of the art gym in Castle's building, which Kate made sure he attended regularly, reminding him of her statement in New Mexico of wanting his hard body to play with. That didn't mean that she waited until he was back in top shape to play. One part of his training that he did enjoy, starting after the third week, was regular trips to the pistol range.

They both chose to forego their bachelor and bachelorette parties. And at last the big day arrived.

Due to Castle's celebrity status, and Beckett's, too, for that matter, security was extremely tight. Castle had hired private security but over one hundred uniformed NYPD had volunteered their own time to work the wedding.

With less than an hour to go until the wedding, Castle stood in front of a mirror in an antechamber in the cathedral. He was working on the bowtie of his sleek black tuxedo. Normally he had no trouble with such things, but today he was all thumbs. He was too excited to finally be marrying Kate.

A soft knock on the door interrupted him. "Come in," he called. Alexis slipped inside, smiling as she watched her father continue to fumble with the tie.

"Here, let me do that, Dad," she said. She stood in front of him and finished the bowtie, and then carefully fixed the boutonniere in his lapel. She stood back and looked him over, satisfied with the final product.

"You look great, Dad," she said. "I've never seen you so happy."

Castle smiled and took in his daughter. The rich burgundy of her bridesmaid dress set off her pale skin and blue eyes, and the short cap sleeves and flowing mid-calf skirt made her seem almost ethereal. Her hair was styled in an elegant up-do, and gleaming garnets twinkled at her ears and in the delicate diamond and garnet chain at her throat. She looked all grown up, beautiful, but still his little girl.

"You look so lovely," he said, smiling. "And I am happy. I had no idea I could be this happy." He took a breath and clapped his hands together. "How's it going out there?"

Alexis rolled her eyes. "It's a madhouse. The chapel's all set up, and they're doing the last-minute touches on the entryway and the seating. Grandma's smooth-talking everyone out there and they're just now starting to seat everybody. At least the reception venue's ready. Lanie just called the hotel, and they're almost all set up. They'll just be waiting on us. You ready?"

"Pretty much. Just waiting on Esposito. He's getting the rings back from the jeweler's."

Just then the door opened and Esposito strolled in. He looked dashing in his Armani tuxedo and burgundy tie. He stopped and grinned, casually smoothing down the jacket.

"I have to say, Castle, this is one sweet suit. Fits perfectly. And the ladies better watch out, 'cause I am _rockin'_ this outfit."

Besides the tuxedos, Castle had gifted his groomsmen with Tag Heur watches.

Alexis giggled. "Better not let Lanie catch you saying things like that."

"I didn't say I would do anything with the ladies," Esposito returned without missing a beat. "Just hope they have something to hold on to when I walk in." He patted the pocket. "And the rings are here, safe and sound. Nice choice, Castle. Beckett's gonna flip when she sees the whole set."

Castle grinned. "That's what I'm hoping for."

Just then Martha poked her head in. "Oh, for heaven's sake, this is where you all are. The priest wants to go over some last-minute details with you, Richard. Alexis, darling, come with me. We have a bride to attend to." She smiled at her son and his best man and swept out of the room. Castle shook his head and headed out the doors, trailed by Esposito.

Martha and Alexis paused at the door of the bride's dressing room. They heard a soft murmur of voices inside, indicating that the rest of the bridesmaids were there. Alexis knocked, and Lanie opened the door. The burgundy color of the gowns suited her as well as Alexis, and her hair was pinned back with a small jeweled comb.

"Come on in, ladies. We're just getting our bride here ready for the finishing touches." She stepped aside, and Alexis and Martha walked in. When they saw Kate, they both caught their breaths.

She was wearing a soft white dress with asymmetrical ruching on the left side. The simple bodice was straight-cut, with delicate little cap sleeves that covered Kate's shoulders but left her arms bare. The bodice was covered with beautiful lace filigree in white, as were the sleeves, and the lace embellishment thinned out over the skirt but fanned softly into a graceful spiral. The white-on-white embroidery ensured that the dress was beautifully ornate without looking heavy or busy. The back was an old-fashioned lace-up that tied into a long, flowing bow, and the simple, full A-line skirt flared out into a short train behind Kate.

Her long golden-brown hair was gently pulled back and held in place with jeweled clips, but a silky fall of curls swept down her back. Her simple garnet drop earrings complimented the delicate garnet and diamond necklace very similar to Alexis's. Her make-up was soft, but her hazel eyes glowed with anticipation and happiness. Both Martha and Alexis thought they'd never seen such a beautiful bride.

"Oh, wow," Alexis said softly as she approached her soon-to-be stepmother. "Kate, you look so beautiful. So happy. I'm so glad you're marrying my Dad. I know now that you're the perfect one for him." She smiled, dimpling. "I'd hug you, but I'm afraid I would wrinkle you!"

Kate smiled and reached out to hug Alexis anyway. Lanie finally shooed her away and stood in front of Kate. She pressed a beautiful blue satin bow into Kate's hands. "This is a bow for your bouquet. It covers the old, the borrowed, and the blue. My mom used it in her bridal bouquet, so I want it back in 1 piece, OK?" She then pulled out a lacy garter. "And here's the new. I think Castle will enjoy removing this one during the reception." She grinned at Kate's fiery pink blush. "For the groomsman toss, you know?"

She stepped back and regarded Kate with satisfaction. "Just one thing missing." She walked over to the small chest sitting to the side. She lifted up a beautiful elbow-length veil with embroidery that matched Kate's dress almost perfectly. She settled it on Kate's head and stepped back, swallowing the rush of emotion. She couldn't believe that Kate had come so far with Castle, and was so proud of her best friend for taking the chance on love and happiness.

The women spent a few more minutes on touching up make-up or outfits. Kate blushed again as she took the garter Lanie held out and slipped it on. Martha left and came back with a large basket and proceeded to hand out the small bridesmaid bouquets of deep red roses, babies' breath, white snowdrops, and gardenias. They all oohed and ahhed over Kate's bouquet, which was only slightly larger than the bridesmaids, but the flowers were in a cascade rather than a nosegay, and the roses in hers were more open and fragrant. Lanie helped her tie on the blue ribbon, and they were ready. There was nothing left to do but wait.


	18. Chapter 18

_Author's Note: Dear Readers,_

_This is Swordwriter's daughter, who is also his beta reader. Much of the relationship conversations between Castle and Kate were edited and sometimes written by me. My dad is loving this first foray into fanfiction. As he is currently unavailable to post the update (medical stuff), he asked me to post this last chapter. He wants to thank all of his readers for coming along this fanfiction ride and hopes that you all enjoyed the story, and looks forward to reading and perhaps even responding to your reviews, once I show him how to do that. __ So here it is, the last chapter of Too Late for Kate. Read, enjoy, review, and look for more stories coming soon! _

**Chapter 18**

There was a knock on the door. "Come in," Lanie called. "Oh, unless you're Castle, and then stay outside. Can't see the bride before the wedding, bad luck, you know."

The man outside chuckled. "Not Castle," he said, and Kate smiled as she recognized her father's voice.

"Come in, Dad," Kate said. He walked in and took a deep breath at the lovely vision of his daughter in her white gown and veil.

"You ready, honey?" he asked. "Everyone's seated, and Rick's busy fidgeting up at the altar." Kate smiled as she pictured Castle doing just that, but she added a smile to her mental image, which she was certain Castle was doing in addition to the fidgeting. She nodded, and her father held out his arm to escort her out the door.

When they reached the closed doors of the chapel, the women arranged themselves in order. Kate and her father waited behind them. Her hand, tucked into his arm, was trembling, but Kate was anything but nervous. She was eager to get married to the man she loved, and the sooner this thing got started the better!

One by one the women walked down the aisle. Madison was first, followed by Jenny, then Alexis, and finally Lanie. She winked at Esposito, who was openly admiring, as she approached the altar, and gave Castle a bright smile as she took her place across from the groomsmen.

Just then the organist started playing. Kate hadn't wanted the traditional bridal march for her trip down the aisle, so instead the sweet sounds of "Flora's Secret" from _The String Quartet Tribute to Enya-Dreams_ filled the air. The lilting music of her choice perfectly suited her. All eyes turned to the back of the chapel, and all eyes fixed on the door.

Kate took a deep breath as she heard the music start.

"You ready, Katie?" her father said. She nodded, and he smiled. "Excellent. Then let's get you married!" Kate smiled, and gently bit her lip. Her father saw it. "Kate?"

She turned her head and smiled a little sadly. "I just wish Mom could've been here to see this. She would've loved Rick, and loved the idea of him in our family."

Her father gently squeezed her hands. "Then let's make her proud and get you to your groom!"

The doors opened in front of them, and they started down the aisle. Murmurs filled the room as the guest commented on Kate's beautiful dress and beaming smile. Castle watched her approach and caught his breath. She looked so beautiful and ethereal, an angel come down just for him. He could hardly believe that they were finally here. When they reached the altar, Kate's father proudly placed her hand in Castle's, and Kate turned to hand Lanie her bouquet. They approached the priest with happy anticipation.

Father Callahan smiled and faced the audience.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the joyous union of Katherine Beckett and Richard Castle. Marriage is a blessed institution ordained by God, and should not be entered lightly. From what I've seen as I've spoken to these two people in front of me, they are well aware of that. They are here now with serious intent of purpose. That being said, if there is anyone here who can show just cause why these two should not be joined, then hold your tongues, because from what I've heard this has been a long time coming, and the bride is a cop."

His eyes were twinkling, and the audience laughed as Kate blushed and Castle grinned. The priest continued.

"Is there anyone who has a need to speak?" When no one answered, he said, "All right then. The bride and groom have chosen to say their own vows. Katherine?"

Kate smiled and turned to face Castle, holding his hands.

"Rick, when I first met you, I thought you were a childish, devil-may-care playboy, and I wondered what I'd done wrong to be stuck with you. Then we started working together, and I realized that you were so much more than that first impression. You were smart, and caring, with a strong instinct for the truth. You pushed me, annoyed me, and could make me so angry, but you also supported me, strengthened me, showed me how to be a better cop, and motivated me. It's like I told you a long time ago: I'd gotten used to you pulling my pigtails."

Rick smiled at her, remembering that little scene. She tilted her head slightly and continued.

"I saw how much you cared about your family. I honestly didn't believe I could be included in that. And through everything that happened with us, everything I did to push you away, you just loved me. And I am so, so thankful for that, and so ready to marry my partner and my best friend. I love you, Rick. I will love you forever."

Martha beamed at them from the front row, as did Jim Beckett, and Lanie quickly swiped her brimming eyes. Castle drew Kate closer and pulled her hands up to rest over his heart.

"Kate, the first day I came to work with you, I knew my life had changed. I thought it would be fun riding along with the hot lady cop-" and he winked, making everyone chuckle-"and getting inspiration for my stories, but it became so much more. Working with you made me feel energized, knowing that it wasn't just research, but a way to help people. And along the way, I found my partner and my best friend. We've been chasing each other around; trying not to admit that was what we were doing, until we caught each other. And this chase has been the most enjoyable thing I've done in my life. That is, until now. Being married to you will be the best thing I've ever done, aside from having my daughter. I'm going to love being a family with you and her." He let go of one of Kate's hands and gently stroked her cheek.

Now more eyes in the audience were brimming, and Alexis, smiling widely, simply let her happy tears slide down her cheeks.

The priest stepped forward. "May I have the rings, please?" Esposito fumbled in his coat pocket for a moment before producing the box and handing it to Father Callahan. He opened it and handed Kate's beautiful ring to Castle.

"Repeat after me: Kate Beckett, with this ring, I thee wed, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, until death do us part." Rick repeated the words, his eyes on Kate's as he slid the ring on her finger to rest next to her engagement ring. She almost gasped at the delicate filigree work and tiny gems on the beautiful wedding ring. The priest then handed her Castle's elegant wedding band.

"Richard Castle, with this ring, I thee wed, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, until death do us part." Kate slid the ring on Castle's hand and leaned in slightly. "And even after," she whispered.

"By the power vested in me, I pronounce that these two are married and are husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!"

Castle leaned down, catching Kate's face in his hands, and kissed her tenderly. They broke apart, laughing, as cheers and whistles broke out behind them. The priest had them turn to face their friends and family.

"I now present Mr. and Mrs. Richard and Kate Castle!"

The audience cheered and clapped even more loudly. Lanie handed Kate back her bouquet, and Castle led his smiling bride back up the aisle amid a flurry of good wishes and flower petals.

At the entrance of the chapel an honor guard made up of both Army and police officers waited. The police commissioner commanded, "Honor guard, attention! Draw…saber. Present arms. Arch sabers. Blades to the wind!" The sabers formed an arch, the cutting edges turned to the sky.

As Castle and Kate exited the chapel, the first pair of honor guards lowered their sabers and crossed them in front of the bride and groom, blocking their way until they kissed. The guards returned their sabers to the arch and allowed Castle and Kate to pass. Each pair of guards repeated the actions. As they walked to the waiting limousine they passed through a sea of blue NYPD uniforms, the wearers proudly protecting two of their legends.

The limo pulled up in front of the Waldorf-Astoria. Just like it was at the chapel, the hotel had heavy security. Nobody got into the reception without an invitation, and all the caterers and servers had been vetted. The room where the reception was being held was decorated in burgundy and cream. All the place settings had burgundy napkins contrasting with the creamy white table cloths. Each centerpiece was a crystal vase containing the gleaming deep purple petals of black lilies and shining white lilies, a spray of baby's breath, and snowdrops, all wrapped in burgundy and white ribbons.

The guest list of 150 people held the names of most of the luminaries of New York, including the Governor of New York, the Mayor of New York City, the big literary names and stars of Broadway and the Castle's friends and acquaintances.

The dinner options were prime rib with potatoes Au Gratin and sautéed string beans, or glazed salmon with new potatoes and sautéed string beans. Castle and Kate had also decided that friends with a preference or need for vegetarian had that option as well. Red and white wines were available, as was sparkling cider or sparkling grape juice. The desert was chocolate mousse or crème brulee.

Kate's eyes were sparkling and a happy smile graced her face. She was in awe of the magnificent room and the elegant settings. She had grown up comfortably with both parents being lawyers, but this new lifestyle was going to take some getting used to. Castle wasn't ostentatious in his personal life, but he did appreciate quality things in his home, and his public persona as a millionaire author was going to mean a lot of public appearances for Kate. She grinned slightly. Wearing several thousand dollars' worth of jewelry and clothing was one thing that she was actually slightly looking forward to.

Kate hadn't wanted to do the receiving line, but realized how important it really was, so she agreed. It still seemed like an endless number of people wishing her well. She wanted to savor this special evening but there was a mischievous little imp sitting on her shoulder asking her if she and Castle could use their wedding night to improve on their reunion sex.

Moving to the head table amid well-wishes from a throng of people, they were able to enjoy their wedding dinner, and then it was time for the toasts.

Esposito stood and tapped on his glass to get everyone's attention. His usual rather smart-ass grin was replaced by a genuinely happy smile. "In the time that we've worked together, Kate has gone from merely being my boss to feeling like a sister. A bossy big sister." Gentle laughter followed his remark. He waited, and continued in a slightly more serious tone. "But she was all too often a melancholy, driven sister. Then Castle came into our lives, and Kate started to laugh again. She learned how to be happy. Kate was a sister to Ryan and me. Over time Castle became our brother. These two complete each other, they make each other happy. When they're apart a gloom hangs over everything. So I am honored tonight to give the bridal toast. To Kate and Rick. May you have many happy years together and make lots of little Castle babies!"

The room erupted in cheers and laughter and glasses were raised in toast. Kate had blushed fiercely when Esposito mentioned little Castle babies, but Castle thought it was heartily amusing. Just before he sat down, Esposito said, "Now that it's official, hey bro, can I borrow the Ferrari when I have a hot date?"

Castle laughed and said, "Sure. I'll put you on the insurance. Then you can pay part of the premiums for that kind of car." Esposito raised one eyebrow and said, "You know, actually, women like men in Chevys. We look more solid and dependable."

Next on the agenda, Kate made sure where Lanie was standing and tossed her bouquet right into Lanie's hands. The death glare Lanie sent the women standing around her also helped with making sure the bouquet was securely hers. Next, there were plenty of appreciative whistles as Kate sat and lifted her skirt to expose one long sexy leg for Rick to remove the garter. He stood, and then cheated as he spun around, aimed directly at Esposito, and fired the garter at him. Esposito managed to catch it amid a loud chorus of catcalls, and winked in Lanie's direction.

The cutting and serving of the wedding cake and the dancing passed in a whirlwind for Kate. The chorus of goodbyes to family and friends were a blur. Only her dad's quiet congratulations and Alexis's enthusiastic hug stood out for her. They held hands in the elevator until it reached their floor, whereupon Kate laughed as Castle swept her up and carried her over the threshold of the bridal suite. After a long passionate kiss, her eyes twinkling, Kate said, "Well, Mr. Castle, shall we try to set a personal record tonight?"

"Mrs. Castle, I do believe that's the best idea you've had yet."

_**Not The End, but…THE BEGINNING.**_

**And there. It's done! Hope you all enjoyed!**


	19. Epilogue

_Author's Note: As requested by many of you, here is a short epilogue to "Too Late for Kate?" We hope that you enjoyed the story and enjoy this wrap-up. Again, none of the characters belong to us, unfortunate as that may be. _

**Epilogue**

It had been almost three months since the wedding of Kate Beckett and Richard Castle, and the new Mrs. Castle had been back at the precinct for almost two of those months. After a whirlwind honeymoon (Castle never did anything by halves, and his desire to bring back some of the innocence Kate lost when her mother was killed meant starting with 4 days at Disneyworld and working from there), and some time for Kate to settle into her new home and for them to adjust to married life, Kate was working again. Her team still referred to her as Beckett. It was easier than calling out "Castle" and having them both turn.

They'd just caught a new case. A body was found in an industrial warehouse close to the docks, and Kate was going over the report from CSU. She, Esposito, and Ryan had gone over the scene themselves and already discussed their impressions, but Kate wanted to see if CSU could fill in any of the gaps. She got up to walk over to the murder board and was briefly dizzy.

"Must remember to eat more than a breakfast bar," she muttered to herself as she gathered the papers and walked to join her colleagues. Castle was already there with Esposito and Ryan, the three of them having a lively discussion about the newest addition to their favorite football team. Castle smiled at her and held up a fresh bear claw.

"I managed to keep Ryan's grubby paws off this one. This is just to show you the lengths I'll go through for my wife," Castle commented as he handed Kate the still-warm pastry. Kate grinned at him. His wife. She still felt a thrill whenever she heard those words.

"Thanks, husband," she replied. Castle grinned back. Obviously those words from Kate meant as much to him as his words did to her. They both turned back to the murder board and mulled over the pictures and words already up. Even though Castle was now working as a reserve cop, his unique scheduling allowed him a couple of days or more at the precinct each week. Kate wasn't complaining. She knew that he could have been pulled away completely, and she loved seeing him at work and solving crimes together the way they did when they first met.

After about half an hour of discussion, they felt that they had a good handle on motive behind the murder of 23-year old Carlie Janken. She was from money, judging from the quality of the clothing and jewelry she was wearing. The fact that the jewelry was present at the scene indicated it was not a robbery gone wrong. They'd also had an interview with a friend of hers, Serena, who said Carlie was in a bad boy phase and her latest fling was hot-tempered. Her friend had witnessed a heated argument between Carlie and her boyfriend a couple of days ago.

Castle got up and headed into the breakroom to make them all fresh cappuccinos. Esposito and Ryan took one final look at the murder board before getting going.

"Ryan, let's go and have a chat with Mr. Yellsalot before he takes it in his head to skip town," Esposito commented. Ryan nodded and grabbed his jacket.

"Be careful, guys. Serena said this Mike likes to fight and really likes knives," Kate cautioned. Esposito scoffed.

"Piece of cake," he said easily.

Kate, who was sitting on the edge of her desk, suddenly turned pale and grabbed her stomach. She felt like she was about to throw up. Ryan noticed.

"Hey, Beckett, you ok? You don't look so good," he said as he moved a little closer, peering down at her. She shook her head.

"I don't know. I just felt queasy. It might be that food we ate last night at the new Mexican place."

Esposito shook his head. "Can't be. We all shared the food around. If something was bad, we all would've gotten sick. Maybe we all just ate at too late a time for you, Beckett." He smirked slightly.

Kate's eyes widened. "Late…oh my god! I'm late! I didn't even notice with all the settling in and everything!"

Ryan's eyes now widened. "Wait, Beckett, you mean…_late?_ Like diaper and formula late?"

Kate nodded, and wished she hadn't. Her stomach was protesting any movement. Esposito barked out a laugh and went over to stand by Kate.

"Looks like there's been a lot of celebrating at Casa Castle recently," he teased, and reached out to pat Kate hard on the shoulder. That was the last straw for Kate's unsteady stomach. With a moan, she leaned over and vomited all over Esposito's shoes.

Esposito's eyes widened and his jaw dropped, only to snap shut as the smell reached his nose. He looked down at Kate, pale and mortified, and down at the ruin of his shoes. His eyes narrowed and he turned his head, unerringly finding Castle through the window of the breakroom.

"CASTLE!"


End file.
